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Website Critique   URGENT - Need Help Fast!  
 
This question has been closed, and points have been awarded.
Important! Please Review My Site Again
Posted By: elliemk* on 10/16/2006 5:03 PM (CST) 200 Points
I've made most of the changes suggested before. However, now I would like a final review, as well as the answer to the following question:

Did I put too much information on my How I Work page? I've applied for several writing jobs recently and know people have visited my site. However, nobody has contacted me. I realize some of these people may take days/weeks to choose someone. But I'm concerned that my payment policies may scare people off. What do you think? Should I leave that information or any other information currently on that page off and cut is down drastically?

The url is http://www.elliemk.com

Thanks in advance for your help!

Posted by: ozeworks Accepted Answer
10/16/2006 7:06 PM (CST)
Hi

1. You have some strange yellow blocks that appear when you press About Ellie and Writing Samples

2. The background behind How I Work is not consistent with the other pages

3. Images - they don't add value to the content - mere decoration. The one on How I Work is not appropriate - for some reason it is not a positive image for one and secondly it is a child. Try for an image of a hand holding a pen writing. Lots of stock with that.

Plus, size and position of images across pages is inconsistent. A picture of yourself might work somewhere but the rest - unless you are offering photographic services - are distracting noise.

4. The full stop of your very first sentence has a space before it.

5. Writing samples - some are dated and some are not. Makes it look like a big gap in your resume between 2006 and 2003

6. Freelance - you say you are freelance yet on your contact page you say "For full-time jobs,Ellie is willing to relocate". I would remove that. Actually sounds a little desparate.

7. How I work - Item 1 has a tag problem

You are mixing method with terms. I would separate them into two pages and expand on the method as in brief, draft, revise, draft, whatever.

"I never plagiarize. I use many sources for reference when I write for you."

This does not read well. I think I would leave it out completely.

You don't state what "standard business hours " actually are. They should be on your Contact page

"I expect a byline for the work I do for you. " You need to explain that. If I got you to write something for my website there is NO WAY I would be acknowledging you at all. So you better address the issue of Copyright here too.

"I require a written agreement for all work" - do you have a sample for prospective clients to read?

" am a professional writer" I am not sure what that means - are you a member of some association, have some kind of degree?

8. I would add a proper contact form to the site so people can provide you with the required details for a quote.


regards
Kym
 
Posted by: KathySmithFilms* Accepted Answer
10/16/2006 8:01 PM (CST)
Hi elliemk

I noticed all the changes from your first version. This next revision will help streamline your site even more. I agree with Kym and would follow her checklist for this fine tuning process.

I noticed "Thompkins Fitness & Thinking Health Online" didn't produce the result and nothing came up.

I would take off all the dates making your work "evergreen" unless it needs to be dated and just have that on the article but not on your promo.

The experts to the right on this site are expert. I recommend doing a search on previous articles with marketingprofs.com on the overall subject and you will find some technically correct spot on decisions on getting the website up to speed or better yet their websites are on their bios that perform this task & I would hook up with one and work out an exchange.

Lastly, (my humor...sometimes we are like goldfish but we have to wear a shark suit in the business world--but I would take off the last picture on the contact page as it is distracting & non-sequetor)...
Kathy
 
Posted by: shghosh Member Response
10/17/2006 6:40 AM (CST)
Hi Ellie- Liked your website. Clean and Precise. Its just a matter of time before your website hits translate to business.

Few things- Pls change the pictures. Post famous paintings, or handwritten quotes by authors that you admire, quotes on writing etc.

Consider putting in a picture of yourself.

Put in more testimonials from your previous clients.
 
Posted by: Clive Fernandes Member Response
10/17/2006 6:57 AM (CST)
Dear Ellie,

Let me be frank. Your website just does not say writer!

First of all, there is a discrepancy in the "person" writing your website text. In parts of your website including the "How I Work" section - you have written in the first person. Later on, in the "Contact" and the "About Ellie" sections the voice changes to the 3rd person. You might want to work on that.

Secondly, the use of paragraphs and bullets points is something I would suggest in most websites. But in your case, take a little liberty - you are a writer, I would love to see some more flow and longer paragraphs in your text.

Also, agreeing with the opinions above - the pictures do distract. I realise you have them there to emphasize a little bit on your creativity - perhaps a separate section for them would be more fitting.

You say you are concerned about your payment policies scaring people off. Have you already taken them off, because till the best of my efforts I was not able to locate any such policies.

I think a rethink of your entire presentation is in order. As I said before, your website needs to say "Writer".

Hope this helps.

Clive Fernandes
Clive Fernandes Consulting
 
Posted by: elliemk* Author Response
10/17/2006 7:47 AM (CST)
I thought I had written a response to Kym and Kathy the other night, but it's not showing up, so I may have forgotten to click the button.

Anyway, I want to thank everyone for your comments so far.

Here are the changes I made this morning:

1). Took off all pictures.
2). Changed the voice on the How I Work page to 3rd person.
3). Yellow blocks have been fixed.
4). All writing dates have been taken off.
5). Background for How I work is consistent now.
6). Removed the lines about plagiarizing, relocation, byline, business hours, etc.
7). Fixed links for Thompkins and ThinkingHealth.

Still need to do a contact form, what a good idea!

Don't understand about the "full stop," or tag problem on How I Work page, Kym.

I have reorganized the how I work page so that price, etc. comes first and the methods come at the end. Don't have time to do two pages at this point, but will consider it.

Also, I may go ahead and put in writing quotes, etc. as suggested.

Again, many thanks to everyone. I'm going to leave the question open for another day or so to see if any others have suggestions, but I really appreciate everyone's suggestions so far.
 
Posted by: Igor M.* Member Response
10/17/2006 1:54 PM (CST)
The only thing I like about your website is the navigation.

The overall website look doesn't look too professional. If you want to be serious about this ... hire a web designer. I wrote a post on my blog about this. You might want to go read it.

To make you site look better you have to add some creativity. Can't just paste words (even though I am a fan of content).

Your website is not search engine optimized. No title, description, etc. No quality links ....

Again ... if you believe in your self and you really know that people would benefit from the service you provide ... INVEST in yourself. Pay to design a site. Pay to do SEO on the site.

Good luck.
 
Posted by: Igor M.* Member Response
10/17/2006 1:55 PM (CST)
Your website URL is also .... not good. Hard to remember and it doesn't make sense to potential customers. I know it's part of your name ... but they don't know about it. Besides it's hard to remember it.
 
Posted by: Jasginder Accepted Answer
10/17/2006 2:42 PM (CST)
Hi Ellie,

The main problems that i see are only two:

1. The website content is not catchy in a business sense, its more like a personal blog or homepage to give information. To make it attractive for business, you need to bring some preciseness, like pointed out earlier that its written nowhere in prominence that you are a professional copywriter.

In service industry the best marketing is to have other people comment on your work. Remember the consumer has apprehensions here as he cant see the final product, its black, in future; so nice experiences of others with you will strengthen them from inside to opt for you. Add some more testimonials and add picture of those people in case u planning to add some pics to your website.

2. Secondly, just go through the website language. Everywhere its Ellie is this, Ellie stands for this, Ellie has these instructions..... . My personal suggestion would be to have it written about yourself like this only in About you section and everywhere else make it more formal and business like by using language like:-

Now: "Ellie normally charges a deposit on all work from new clients."

Modified: 'Normally a deposit is charged on all work from new clients."
 
Posted by: sergiu_yy Member Response
10/18/2006 7:06 AM (CST)
in the tagline it is written - Home. Why is that? Maybe you should try - Ellie Kuykendall site. Or something like that. But not Home.

About the 1st and the 3rd person - I agree, and also - change the color from yellow to blue - it looks better.

Good luck.
 
Posted by: sergiu_yy Member Response
10/18/2006 7:08 AM (CST)
in the tag line it is written - Home. Why is that? Maybe you should try - Ellie Kuykendall site. Or something like that. But not Home.

About the 1st and the 3rd person - I agree, and also - change the color from yellow to blue - it looks better.

Good luck.
 
Posted by: Frank Hurtte Member Response
10/18/2006 7:14 AM (CST)
Ellie,
I liked you site very clean, very refined.
I looked at the how i work portion and see nothing that would scare me away as a prospective prospect.

I think you are good to go....
 
Posted by: Eric Member Response
10/18/2006 11:25 AM (CST)
Ellie:

I totally agree with those saying, "you need to rethink your entire presentation."

Starting with the template -- it's not professional -- it looks like one of those free templates. Your website quality should be a reflection on your writing quality. Yes, it's more expensive, but get it done professionally.

Take a look at the top copywriters website and you will see a major difference.

Also. you may be a wordsmith with over 10 years of experience, but I can tell that you're not a marketing writer. You focused on "you". You focused on "features". People care more about "how am I going to benefit from you" and "what am I going to gain".

I understand that you're more of a magazine/publication article writer than a marketing writer. Even though you may be a writer, you may need to hire a writer who specializes in marketing communications.

I don't mean to be harsh, but I analyze websites, brochures, dm copy, online sales letter copy and online article submissions every day. I tell my clients, straight out, my thoughts on their work and what needs to be changed. Can I be harsh at times -- yes. But they thank me for it. You'll thank me once you start getting results, once you change your thinking and get your website professionally designed and written. If you need help, I can do that for you. Call me at [phone number deleted by staff] or email me at [email address deleted by staff]

Good luck!
 
Posted by: elliemk* Author Response
10/18/2006 12:22 PM (CST)
Thanks to the last few people who have responded. I am going to have my Web site designed by someone.

You are right, Eric, it was a free template. I haven't had the money to have someone design and write my site. I found someone who would trade services with me, so that takes care of the design part. As far as paying someone to write the copy, I just can't afford it right now. So, I will have to continue tweaking the content until it is better. They say you have to spend money and I agree. However, I have been very ill and left one job I've had for two years because the stress of not being paid on time was getting to me too much. Now I have one new client already from my site and another client I've been working with for six months.

I do appreciate your offer of help. Maybe sometime in the future I'll be able to afford your services.

Best,

Ellie
 
Posted by: Eric Member Response
10/18/2006 12:38 PM (CST)
Hi Ellie,

I totally understand your circumstances. As I said before, I did not mean to be harsh in anyway, I was just telling you from experience.

If you want, I can write a strong sales letter type of home page, that focuses on benefits and gives a strong call for action -- something you are desperately missing. I can do this for $297 -- then as a writer yourself, you'll be able to see my style and incorporate it to the other pages.

If you're interested, give me a call -- 908-380-8564 or email me at eric@prleads.com

Good Luck!
Eric
 
Posted by: jpoyer Accepted Answer
10/18/2006 11:25 PM (CST)
Hi Ellie,
Just a note: be sure to check your pages for typos (like the space before the period on the very first sentence) ... even more important because you are professing writing and editing skills, your site needs to be impeccable when it comes to grammar, usage, etc. This includes things like using em dashes instead of hyphens. And things like making sure there are no obvious mistakes like the extra space on the "How I Work" page after the #6 in the last item. Use HTML ordered lists to clean up the look—think of it this way: if you were providing copy to a client, it would be formatted with hanging indents and appropriate tabs instead of a plain list, right?

The thing with first person versus 3rd, even if you fix the content to be in 3rd, you still have your main category "How I Work" in 1st, so that definitely goes back to rethinking your whole approach. I recommend you use plain terminology and active voice throughout as well. (i.e.: Instead of the stuffy: Work commences on receipt of the deposit.) And, if you don't want to say "I" you can always use "we" which is better than speaking in 3rd person, and implies you're a company, or group with more resources.

If you are a copy writer, treat yourself as you would treat one of your clients ... Editing, target audience—the whole enchilada! If you say you write for the web, which you do on your site, why not use this project as a good start to practice for web writing? Make your own web site sing!!!! You take the time to re-write your text, and then bring it back here to the experts who can continue to help you hone it till you get the feel for what web writing is about. You have a great opportunity to learn here!!! :)

I really like that you included the testimonial-type quote on the side of your pages, be sure to be consistent with the presentation of these quotes. (The two different quotes are formatted differently, and then the matched quotes are formatted differently from each other as well.)

Good luck, I hope this helps. From one writer to another, GO GRAMMAR!!

Best Wishes,

Jennifer
XPRT Creative
 
Posted by: AndrewS Member Response
10/19/2006 2:58 AM (CST)
QUICK CHECK. When I saw the site for the first time, I was IMMEDIATE drawn to the quote/testimonial that starts "Once Ellie knows where she's going she can really fly." [How I Work page]

Ditch this first sentence of the quote, if I was looking for a writer, I wouldn't pick you because this sentence makes it sound as if you find it hard to get going or be inspired .. no what I need from a writer!
 
Posted by: AndrewS Accepted Answer
10/19/2006 3:31 AM (CST)
More feedback now I have had time to look at the site for longer. When I get Usability clients, I am always keen to stress that I cannot tell then their site is good or bad, just what works/should work or what a potential customer of yours would be put off by :-)

PRESENTATION: Simple but effective design, I would be tempted to place you name in a bigger font to make it more prominent in the header.

I like the use of yellow - it suggests inspiration and energy and more so when used with the orange. Overall a pleasant appeal and satisfies the 3 second rule.

DESIGN: Logical design to pages, I would possibly consider joining the orange lines of the header. Rather than modern or artistic, it looks like a broken image and just plain wrong to the mind and could suggest error or mistakes in your work.

Homepage lacks some pazzaz, consider highlighting words like "Finely", "shine" etc in the orange color of the bars to extra focus. Also consider a slightly larger font size. The font size difference between menu and body is too great and take some focus of the body text.

Consider moving the "About Ellie" button to below "How I work" ... remember its less about you and more about what you can do!

TERMS: I can see your issues here. NDA is at the discretion of your client not you! Don't mention a deposit up front (unless you suspect a bad debt then never ask for a deposit anyway, it looks unprofessional a good contract is all you need - if you want to send me your standard contract offline I could review that for you too).
Instead of "Terms" convert this section into what you will do for your client. I have a section which describes the way I work and my three step approach of "discovery, development and delivery", something similar may be useful for you, and as part of that, you can get some of these terms across.

CONTACT: Rather than just email, suggest developing a form, that way you can suggest more information that just a email address and welcome message (i.e. type of work they are thinking about, timescales, budget, where they heard about you, address etc), puts you more in control when you contact them back.

Whilst I haven't done a full test of the site (inc. accessibility), but I would be confident that the site would score 6-7 out of 10 (which is good), more work really needs to be done on the 'sales' side of the copy, call to action, presentation, as well as the issues discussed above.

You will also need to look at search engine optimisation.

The very best of luck.

Andrew
 
Posted by: KathySmithFilms* Member Response
10/19/2006 1:30 PM (CST)
elliemk

I looked at your "under construction" again. I agree with
jpoyer and from my first post you have made all the
changes. Just wanted to share 2 more cents.

Product attainment to keep in mind. A pathway to start business:
Quantity (that is the site you have now that you are fine tuning);
Quality (some money comes in from the first quantity of your outflow and then you can invest some of that back to your business); and
Viability (you've tested out the market; got some clients; they are also referring you and you get back on the path to more affluence.)
Push through this site. Stay with marketing profs...they have job postings too. You can do this. (I like the idea of putting a picture of a pen.) Keep scribbing!
Kathy
 
Posted by: elliemk* Author Response
10/20/2006 7:16 AM (CST)
I'm closing the question now and very much appreciate all the time you all took to look at my site and critique it. I found LOTS of little errors (like spaces in front of the commas after the names of the articles on my samples page. I've put in em dashes and know that though there is still a lot of work to do before the new site is finished, I think it looks a lot better now -- thanks to you!

Best,

Ellie
 


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