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First Impression Of Website ...
Posted By: smo8888 on 10/31/2006 8:06 AM (CST) 250 Points
Hi There,

I have a website that that promotes informational DVDs.
I'm not a copywriter and I tend to type as I would speak and have based the structure of my sales letter around the basic principles of AIDA (attention, Interest, Desire and action)

I tend to always use anecdotes in my sales letters rather that just tell customers to pay up.

Just wanted to know what you think. Too long? too short? boring?

I was thinking of changing the page layout to a narrow centered page as opposed to a standard width web page. Does anybody know if this increases sales conversions?

I personally don't like the font but apparently millions of pounds have been spent on font marketing and the conclusive evidence is that Time New Roman and Courier font is most responsive - so that's what I stayed
with.

Any feedback will be great. My main question is this: If you wouldn't want to buy it - why?

Thank you.

Simon
www.quit-work.co.uk

Posted by: Jade Member Response
10/31/2006 11:23 AM (CST)
You ask why wouldn't I buy it?
Because nothing in life is that easy and you can't get something for nothing.

Quite simply, I don't believe your letter. It looks like every other 'Get rich" scam out there so if it isn't, then you need to set yourself apart.
 
Posted by: zawmoo Accepted Answer
10/31/2006 11:28 AM (CST)
Since I'm not a copywriter either, I just want to say your page is too wide instead of critiqueing the copy.

On my 17" monitor at 1024 x 768 (the most common resolution nowadays) I have to scroll horizontally which is usually not recommended. The browsers I tried are Internet Explorer 7, Firefox 2.0, Opera 9.2.

Looks like you must have designed your page on 21" monitor at higher resolution, a monitor resolution not everybody has.
 
Posted by: Frank Hurtte Accepted Answer
10/31/2006 11:38 AM (CST)
The information is probalby ok.. but the layout of your site is very poor.
The width is annoying, and the pictures are poorly placed. I would suggest spending just a bit to have your site fine tuned. Before you send out lots of information and turn off a lot of people.
 
Posted by: systematicSEO.com* Accepted Answer
10/31/2006 1:36 PM (CST)
The site is way to wide. It needs to be centered first of all. Good font.

Looks like a scam to me. I just not into get rich quick schemes. I would not buy.
 
Posted by: smo8888 Author Response
10/31/2006 2:15 PM (CST)
Thnaks for all the constructive criticism.
The problem is how do you actually promote a genuine home business without coming across as another scam?

I don't think I can put in anymore proof's other than bank statements ...wage slips and screenshots of actual payments I receive.

Thanks for the advice everyone - I really appreciate it.

Simon
 
Posted by: jillm Accepted Answer
10/31/2006 6:13 PM (CST)
There needs to be less information on the homepage. Hook me in with a few great pieces of information, and then drag me deeper in to your site. It will actually make you look more legitimate... think of any B2C sites that you frequent (Amazon, eBay, etc.) and how they entice you in to the site.

Don't show all of your cards on the homepage... make it a Web SITE instead of a Web PAGE. That will make you look far more legitimate and less like the SPAM that we receive daily offering us ways to "get rich quickly."

I hope that this helps!

- J
 
Posted by: smo8888 Author Response
10/31/2006 6:57 PM (CST)
Hi Jillc,

Thanks for the reply - I'll take that into account. The reason why I've written such a long webpage is that through tons of marketing books that i've read I've always been told that a long sales letter will always out-perform a short one (providing it's interesting enough)

I didn't try to re-invent the wheel as I've just tried to copy successful Internet marketers that are probably making 5 times what I make - but I see what you mean.

Thanks.

Simon
 
Posted by: dforbes* Accepted Answer
10/31/2006 7:05 PM (CST)
Completely agree with jillc

Change the following part of HTML code from this:

table width="1166"

to

table width="100%"

A title to the page (currently 'Untitled Document') will also make the site a bit more professional.

I have always been under the impression that a sans-serif font (arial, verdana etc) was much easier on the eyes when reading from the screen. For print purposes serif fonts (times etc) are more appropriate.

But to the main problem you are having as to how not to look like a scam site...go and look at the scam sites across the web, and then avoid what they are doing. At the moment your site screams of being a scam (single page, screeds of text, lack of solid info about the product/service).

After quickly scrolling and scrolling through your site I was still no wiser as to what your business sold.

I personally don't have time to read war and peace on my computer. If what you are selling is that great at least let me know what it is up front and then back it up with all your results.

Good luck with it.
 
Posted by: sykoyau Accepted Answer
10/31/2006 9:13 PM (CST)
First impression, it does look a lot like a get rich scheme program. However I do know people who operates sites which looks like the one you have and I must say, they really do make A LOT of money.

If you feel like keeping the page as it is, I've got a few suggestions:

1. One thing that didn't seemed right was the "order within 72 hours" or "order within the next 3 days". To make it more "real", you could maybe add a countdown timer next it. Of course the timer resets itself when a new person comes to the page but it creates a sense of urgency.

2. It gave me a huge headache reading the words. Suggestion: create light coloured boxes to fit in testimonials or anything that's really important. Not too many just a few. Most probably people who scans through the website would read those in the boxes instead of those outside it.

3. I seriously have no idea what exactly are you selling from the site.

Hope this helps ;)
All the best

(Sorry, not a fan of get rich schemes)
 
Posted by: smo8888 Author Response
11/1/2006 4:15 AM (CST)
Hi dforbes and Skyoyau,

I had no idea that my webpage was distorted on a smaller screen as I have been working on a 21" monitor.

I understand the comments about the "order within the next 72 hours" not sounding believable but I guess I've just moulded my copy from other web pages that are doing well with the same tactics - maybe I'll start being a bit more creative.

I definitely had mixed feelings about what colour to use without it being too annoyingly similar to everyone else's out there.

I like the countdown timer idea so I'll implement that and will let you know if it increases my sales conversion.

I will take all advice given to me on board. Thanks again.

Simon
 
Posted by: margec Member Response
11/1/2006 1:48 PM (CST)
A legitimate business promotes a realistic message. It talks about the kinds of skills or experience that will make a recruit successful; it describes the business and what the recruit will be doing. It gets its points across in one or maybe 2 screens (not an endless long scroll of unorganized free association and cheerleading). Pictures of fancy cars have zero credibility. I could go take pictures of myself standing next to fancy cars. It may be that the tactics you have appropriated from other sites DO work; apparently these scams must generate enough to keep their perpetrators in business. They get a different group of takers than a legit, credible business would, though.
Marge
 
Posted by: smo8888 Author Response
11/1/2006 3:02 PM (CST)
Hi Marge,

Thanks for your comment. I must disagree with a few points though.

I find your comments are very generalised. I mentioned that I use the same tactics from other successful websites and although true that there are many 'scams' out there - there are also many legit and credible businesses that's you mentioned that are by no means a 'scam'

Use me as an example. I spent £5000 attending an private seminar with 12 recognised experts in Internet Marketing - Top marketers such as Corey Rudl, Armand Morin, Yanik Silver but to name a few...
Teaching you methods of making money on the Internet such as sourcing 'niche' products and selling to a hungry market.

Selling products to willing customers. Low cost product - high profit margin = Big money. No scam. Happy customers.

I don't have any special skills or experience and If somebody like me made quite a good living from the business how does one play it down in his sales letter without coming across as a scam?

Should I talk about skills and experience that you don't actually need just to make it sound more believable?


True you can stand next to any fancy car - but I don't think there are many who can sit in a fancy car - with a car log book as well.
I don't believe that there is zero credibility showing the end results of what the business can provide for you i.e. (fancy cars) as I'm sure when you look for a job you'd first want to know the salary.

Thanks for you for your opinions regardsless.

Simon
 
Posted by: tony.butcher Member Response
5/21/2007 2:03 PM (CST)
I don't think we should be wasting our time discussing the merits or otherwise of scam sites. Simon clearly does not own the 2 cars he poses with, nor does he go on £30,000 holidays. So let's move on and provide help and advice to those who have proper businesses.
 


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