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This question has been closed, and points have been awarded.
Chicken Zoop For The Marketing Soul'dier
Posted By: Papadoc (Steve)* on 7/25/2005 5:15 PM (CST) 500 Points
How about some marketing quips to lighten your day, make you laugh, make you think, or maybe something just so simple it was just brilliant marketing. Add your own to the following:

1) Real life - I just visited Hilton Head SC, a high end vacation spot, slammed full of golf courses, fountains, immaculate roads, and where if they had a Super 8 Motel, it would also cost $200+ a night. But about 10 miels before going into the city, before you see anything else, there is a rather ordinary size street bridge crossing HWY 278 with some incredible design aspects including unique arches, covered in a unique stone pattern, and with a couple of guard towers. Nothing is overstated, dramatic, there are no signs, no "You have arrived" indicators. It's just understated elegance that is rarely if ever seen on an American bridge. I told my wife... "Now that is marketing". It says, "you're at Hilton Head and it's different here", but without saying it and without anything that could be labeled as ostentatious. It's marketing brilliance as is the rest of the city. Never let it be said that there is no PLACE called marketing. It's just that it's stage name is Hilton Head SC.

2) Quip -

Man #1 opens a hardware store in a strip mall and puts up a sign that says "Hardware Store". THAT is market segmentation.

Man #2 opens up right next door with his hardware store and places a sign over his store that says "Best Selection". THAT is advertising.

Man #3 opens up another hardware store on the other side of man #1 and places a sign above his store that says, "Best Prices". THAT is market share strategy.

Annoyed but not to be outdone, man #1 in the middle puts a sign higher than anyone else with an arrow pointing at his door that says, "Main Entrance". Now THAT my friends... is just plain ol' MARKETING"

Posted by: Jim Deveau/Catalyst* Accepted Answer
7/26/2005 12:28 AM (CST)
Here's one about always keeping an open mind for potential innovation and about maintaining flexibility when presented with opportunity.

An old B-School professor related this story during my MBA years. He and a friend were kicking around as entrepreneurs on the West Coast and had come up with a new piece of video editing hardware back in the early 80's. They wondered if they should market it - and were referred to the best patent attorney in the country for this type of technology. His offices were on the East Coast.

These guys had little money - but they called the attorney. They explained they were unsure if their invention was even worth a consult but they would certainly want to retain him if the device was patentable and marketable. He was gracious and offered a free 20-minute consultation if they could travel to his office.

They did - and he correctly advised them against moving forward based on some similar patents and on his outlook in general. Upon leaving the meeting - they expressed their gratitude for seeing them with no fees.

His response:

"Well, the reason I agreed to meet you is that I learned a valuable lesson about 20 years ago. Two bright young men like yourselves found their way into my office and begged me to evaluate their invention. They had no money - and I explained that I saw no one without assessing an evaluation fee. They begged me to reconsider and just hear them out. I refused. They offered me 10% of their company if I would mentor them - and I politely declined and showed them the door.

They were XEROX."

go figure.
 
Posted by: Deremiah *CPE Accepted Answer
7/26/2005 11:28 AM (CST)
Steve,

In this life people are always looking for a free meal, somebody to give them something without them having to make any effort on their part. But the universe does not function this way. Long ago a famous writer by the name of Luke, wrote in his ancient text the real key to obtaining more from life than we could ever imagine when he wrote these words "Give and it shall be given unto you, good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over shall men pour into your bosom.

THERE ARE NO FREE MEALS...(everything begins with giving)
here'a a nice short illustration I like to tell from time to time that helps remind us that there are no free meals.

There was once a restaurant owner who put a huge sign on the outside of his restaurant that said

"Free Meal Tomorrow"

And everyday, people would come from miles around by the bus loads just to get there free meal...

but the sign outside the restaurant never changed.

It still said "FREE Meal Tomorrow".


Hope you enjoyed it. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Your Servant, Deremiah, *CPE (Customer Passion Evangelist)

C-reating P-owerful E-citement
 
Posted by: SteveByrneBranding Accepted Answer
7/26/2005 4:54 PM (CST)
Hi Steve,

here's some semi-related amusement.

THE SHEPHERD AND THE CONSULTANT

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd,.......... "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM Thinkpad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says,.........

"You have exactly 1586 sheep."

"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.

Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back the animal?"

"OK, why not" answered the young man.

"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.

"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business. Now give me back my dog."

-Steve
 
Posted by: Papadoc (Steve)* Author Response
7/26/2005 5:04 PM (CST)
Deremiah - Loved it! There was a pizza place around here that had done the same thing and kept it going for several months. It also reminds me of the Morning Star self storage facilities who repeatedly put up quips and humorous truisms on their marquis. People would drive by to see the latest quip, and by golly, everyone always knew where the place was located when they needed temporary storage.

An interesting note - While I always recommend it for many reasons, even for those who are not interested in religious studies, there are more concepts and truisms of human nature presented in the Bible than in any other book that I've read. Most are amazing and all are portable to business relationships and marketing.

I particularly like the one about heaping coals of kindness on the head of your enemy. Translation into modern day business - When your competition bad-mouths you, repudiate erroneous facts, but don't follow suit by attacking them in turn. Speak well of them and it will show you to be the more gracious businessperson... and probably the one that your customer will want to do business with. Bad-mouthing your competition only generates more in return, and if they find out that you have been gracious and kind with your words, it can put a real damper on their desire to continue.

Jim - if we live long enough, I think we ALL have passed up such opportunities. We're just lucky if we don't even know what it is that we've turned down.

Putting himself through school with a pregnant wife in tow, my father earned his living painting houses or anything else that he could do. Upon getting a call from a restaurant owner who needed the inside of his restaurant panted, he quoted the job for $75, materials included. The owner agreed, but being strapped for cash, offered my father $10 for paint and $100 in stock in his company. Aside from sounding like a scam, my father needed the cash to pay rent. So he took the cash.

The year: 1958
The restaurant owner: Ray Kroc
The restaurant: McDonald's
The potential value of the stock today: Who knows? But I'd be driving a Maserati
 
Posted by: Deremiah *CPE Member Response
7/26/2005 6:21 PM (CST)
Steve,

I agree with you...that ancient book is full of truths that can not be compared to any other. It almost appears to be endless in it's capability. Thanks for your warm compliment and I'm glad you like it.

Your Servant, Deremiah
 
Posted by: SRyan ;] Accepted Answer
7/28/2005 1:10 AM (CST)
Steve, this one will never make it into anyone's Good Book, I'm afraid.

Ever seen one of those magnetic business cards? Okay, what if you were a PC repair shop, and your less-than-enlightened customers affixed your card to the chassis of their computers... voila! Mysterious hard drive failures, and nonstop service requests.

Makes ya think, doesn't it?   ;]
 
Posted by: Papadoc (Steve)* Author Response
7/29/2005 9:57 AM (CST)
SteveB - Straight from the "Coulda happened" or "more truth than fiction" categories. Puts counting the sheep to fall asleep into a new frame of reference.

Shelley - I think I've run across a few of those guys as they've branched out into other areas. Danged if it doesn't remind me an awful lot of my cell phone provider, "Wiggle just an inch to take advantage of our offer, and we've got you for another two years... unless of course you want to come up with your $175 a year per line out-clause."

Or as a friend of mine told me who not too long out of college and going to work for a major US auto manufacturer (whose name shall remain super-secret but starts with a C and it t'aint Chevy), "You've got some work to do on redesigning that water pump. With that design of yours, we'll never sell another replacement part."

Built in obsolescence, gotcha clauses, and "make-work" have all been around for a long time, but it does seem if some are now slapping the "marketing" label on it and turning it into an art.
 


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