Death by Email: A Quick How-to

There are infinite ways to destroy an email marketing program. And in a recent humorous post at the Deliverability.com blog, Andrew Kordek explains how to ruin your reputation in nine easy steps. It's easier than you think! Among Kordek's "tips":

Blather. "First and foremost," he begins, "you need to understand that you are the king/queen of email marketing and your program is superior to all other email programs. Subscribers need to understand this and [your] need to communicate that on a regular and consistent basis."

Overkill. Kordek also stresses the importance of revenue; your subscriber will buy something eventually, so go ahead and send her an email each and every day until she does. She won't mind the frequency, because we all know she's sitting there just waiting to hear from you.

Disregard. "[T]ake all of the best practices you learn about in blogs and white papers," he advises, "print them out and use them as paper airplanes in the office or as starter logs for your fireplace. In fact … why read anything at all that could better your program?"

Supersize. And who needs to bother with organic list growth when you can buy four million opt-in names for less than a hundred bucks? "Remember this," says Kordek, "the bigger your list, the bigger the payoff!!"

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