Question

Topic: Copywriting

Iphone App Description - Healthy Habits

Posted by Anonymous on 7/11/2011 at 10:34 PM ET 1000 Points
Hi all,
I am back for some more expert advice. We have launched our Healthy Habits iphone app and it is doing pretty well. However, now I have time to work on optimizing the copy that is shown in the app store. I would like to really focus on the first 3-4 lines that people see when they are browsing the apps in the app store. You can see the full copy here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/id416687813?mt=8#

The first three lines are all that show up on some searches so they need to stand-alone as well as work as the lead to the rest of the copy, they also display best as short separate lines like line one and two.

Currently this is what I lead with:

Name: Healthy Habits (A free health, fitness & happiness app)

5/23/11 - Ranked #1 in iTunes New & Noteworthy: Health & Fitness (US)
Changing a habit is not about thinking… it is about doing!
***** “Healthy Habits helps you put your good intentions into action!” Most of us know what we want to change…we often even know how to do it. The problem arises because we don’t put that knowledge into action.

Thoughts, comments, suggestions?
Thanks,
Jo
App website for more reference: https://www.2morrowmobile.com/HealthyHabits.php
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RESPONSES

  • Posted on 7/12/2011 at 5:06 AM Accepted
    Jo - you probably know all this, but here are some reminders:

    1. If your first three lines are already helping your app to be 'doing pretty well', then you should not change them.

    2. However, if you want to beat what you are already achieving with your control copy, then a series of tests are the only way to go.

    3. That means that any forthcoming suggestions for changes in the copy can be considered for testing against your control copy if it looks pretty good.

    4. If the app shop is not an effective place to blind test your new copy against your control copy then use Google Adwords. You can cheaply list as many opening lines as you like, with your original and they will automatically rotate to find the best one.

    Voila!

    Headline copy is the toughest of all copywriting, and to be honest, copywriters like me charge for that kind of job, so you are unlikely to get much for free here. But in these circumstances, when testing can be carried out quite cheaply and effectively, I advise simply collect a list of alternatives to beat that control.

    It's the kind of work copywriters love!

    Hope that helps,

    Peter
  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 7/12/2011 at 8:03 AM Accepted
    What's missing for me is the clear benefit of using your app. For example:

    Get healthier and happier quicker
    Feel healthier and happier for free
    Small easy steps for health & happiness
  • Posted on 7/16/2011 at 9:24 AM Accepted
    The app looks like a really good offering. I have two questons: 1) Do you have a breakdown on its pull outside of the U.S.?

    I ask because, after English, Spanish is a large, relatively easy target to hit. (Mandarin is huge, but difficult.) For one, there are over 20 million native speakers of Spanish in the U.S. That makes it easy to find someone to develop a Spanish language version, both for the U.S. and the entire rest of the Spanish speaking world.

    2) What kinds of joint ventures and strategic alliances are you pursuing for the app, i.e. health related offerings that are a good fit for the app to negotiate mutual benefit?

    Let us say you find an excellent fit with "Widgit Wellness." Then you modify the app slightly to reflect the "Widgit Wellness" component (free valuable piece of information, coupon, etc.)

    Regards,
    JH
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