Know-How Exchange : Taglines/Names

Let me get this straight: You are writing to hospitals, and need a tagline looking for a tagline that conveys to them that your project is important to better the health of their patients?

First, Who is the target (the hospital is where they work - but who are they? Nurses, doctors, administrators?

Second - don't you think that talking to healthcare professionals about bettering the health of patients is bit like preaching to the converted?

I think you need something along the lines of:

Help reduce the loss of (X) lives this year (where X is the number of people who die of malnutrition while in hospital)

or

Because patients should not be malnourished while in our care

or

Help improve how we nourish our patients

Perhaps you could explain the problem in a bit more detail - how many people are dying, how many people are becoming malnourished while in hospital, and what are the likely causes of their malnutrition? Who is at risk - any particular demographics?

Hope that helps.

ChrisB

Ekta -

It sounds like you're looking for a headline for your flyer, rather than a tagline (which is phrase describing a key benefit of your business). The goal of the headline is to encourage the the reader to read the flyer and subsequently complete your survey for your benefit.

The key reason someone would want to do the extra work for your survey is to help their business somehow. So how will filling out the survey help them? Will they get a ranking? A list of suspected problem areas (based on your analysis)? And how will the respondents know that: the data you collect is anonymous (i.e., there is no chance that hospital X's raw data is released, which might create a lawsuit against them) and your analysis accurate (if you're going to say hospital Y is the best/worst -- what does that mean? Against whose standard?).

Given all this, here are some headlines to consider:
* Complete The 2009 International Hospital Nutrition Survey
* See How Your Hospital's Nutrition Ranks Internationally
* Improve Patient Health & Hospital Nutrition Ranking