Question

Topic: E-Marketing

Dismal Response To Email Launch......

Posted by Anonymous on 8/26/2008 at 12:21 PM ET 125 Points
Online company in the referral business - we saw dismal response (no registrations) on the first launch. Email sent out as shown below. I have masked out the name of the company for obvious reasons.

We plan to add advertising on more channels however, the founders strongly believe they can completely get away with Web2.0 Marketing (as in, creating profiles on Facebook, Stumbleupon, Squidoo, Advertisting on Facebook, WallstreetJournal Online, CNN etc.).

Please comment on the email campaign and the web2.0 marketing strategy. Thanks!


Hello,
My name is Shawn Cole and this is a one-time message.

We are excited to share the public release of our new entrepreneurial effort – XYZXYZ. Please forward this email to your friends if you think it is appropriate – Thanks!!

Today's professional world revolves around introductions. Now there's a unique online meeting place where employees, hiring managers, customers, and business partners can get introduced to your trusted network of colleagues and associates

Simply said, introduce professionals and get paid or Get introduced and reward the provider.

Best part is :
1. You name the price, percentage and phases of the reward
2. You can choose to work in anonymous mode.

Take a quick tour here (web link) or calculate your reward here (web link)

It's the best step you'll take to move your career to the next step.

Bests,
Shawn Cole, CMO
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RESPONSES

  • Posted by Inbox_Interactive on 8/26/2008 at 12:27 PM Accepted
    What list did you use? Sounds like it was not sourced entirely using permission-based methods.

    Also, the email is -- in all candor -- not very good.

    It comes across as junk mail, and there's not much in the way of the value proposition or your differentiation.

    There's really no reason to click or learn more here.

    Bad list, bad copy...bad results.

    I do not think you will make a go of it using only "Web 2.0" methods as these require people to find you as opposed to you finding them.

    Sorry I can't be more encouraging, but the results do speak for themselves.

  • Posted by Inbox_Interactive on 8/26/2008 at 12:56 PM Member
    Sure, you're talking about putting your name (profile) out there on all these sites, but so what?

    Why would people find you? Look for you?

    I'm not saying that these tools can't have their place in business, but just slapping up a bunch of profiles and then waiting for the phone to ring (that's a metaphor)...does not seem like it's going to work.

  • Posted on 8/26/2008 at 1:02 PM Accepted
    The email is nearly entirely about your client, there's very little about what the recipient gains. It asks for a pass-along first; without having established any trust or demonstrated any value in what it's offering.

    I agree with Inbox (Paul). Why would people look for you? What makes you different? What problem are you solving?

    Also, what was the subject line?
  • Posted by michael on 8/26/2008 at 10:59 PM Member
    I'm sorry...but you lost me at "Hello". You gave zero info before you asked me to forward to my friends.

    You're also a little long....for a new company (P&G can go as long as they want). You need to keep it within one preview pane on Outlook. This is not an industry rule...just my experience and hasn't been wrong yet.

    Have you thought of trying it on Trafficswarm or some of the other swap sites? (That's 2 references to them in one day?!?!?)

    Michael



  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 8/27/2008 at 8:39 AM Accepted
    You're asking the recipient to spend their time, learn about you, without any clear benefit to them. Instead, rewrite the email with stories (or better, links to them) of real people who've used your offering, their skepticism, and their concrete benefits.
  • Posted on 8/27/2008 at 7:38 PM Member
    "I thought this is interesting" is a terrible - it's very spammy sounding. You're not my best buddy, I don't even know you, why should I care if you find it interesting. Making things worse, a lot of viruses get distributed using similar sounding subject lines - double strike! A good subject line is the key to getting people to open your email.

    Once they open it and give you permission to interrupt them, the content better be worth it. But your email doesn't deliver. LinkedIn is the category leader, what makes you different and/or better? And why should I care?
  • Posted by darcy.moen on 8/28/2008 at 8:29 PM Member
    The main problem with the sales letter is you completely forget about 'What's in it for the reader'? You make vague promises without any clear cut measurable benefit to the reader who acts upon your offer.

    Example:

    Wanna go out on a date?

    Or

    Would you like to go to dinner at Magiano's, followed by an ice cream sundae desert at Overeater's?

    Which would you rater do? I lean to my second example because I'm told where and what I'll get.

    Darcy Moen
    Customer Loyalty Network
  • Posted on 8/30/2008 at 12:45 AM Accepted
    I still think your email is too feature heavy. It focuses too much on what your service does rather than the benefits to the client. Talk more about landing that dream job or closing that huge deal.

    Also what's not clear is how the 5% works for job seekers. They pay the professional the equivalent of 5% of their salary? Seems like a hefty fee to me, but I'm sure you've done your research and asked your audience their thoughts.

    Finally, and don't take this the wrong way, you might want to consider hiring a professional copywriter. Aside from being too features focused, it lacks the zip that would make it engaging to read. What you've written is okay, but with eDM, okay usually isn't good enough.
  • Posted by steven.alker on 9/2/2008 at 5:15 PM Member
    As recruitment firms and head-hunters work exclusively on the basis of charging the employer, and only the meployer 15-35% of the first year salary for a new hire (I used to run one, it’s hard work!) they have a vested interesting rubbishing outfits which charge candidates a fee to get recruited – be it based on doing a search or on being hired.

    So your anti-marketing campaign, already well in place and violently pre-disposed against your business model is manned and funded by about 350,000 of the worlds sharpest business people! That’s hefty competition to take on and a tricky image (That of carrion crows) to overcome. Rather than take on your clients brief I’d be more inclined to take on the beatification of the president of Iran.

    Bias apart, how does it play to me as a guy on the lookout for my next career move? Rather than take my$200K package plus benefits to the assorted head-hunters, who, for nothing, will whisper my details (but not my name) discretely in the ears of the powerful over a filet-mignion and bottle of Chateau Mouton Rothschild in the Savoy grill I get to pay someone I don’t know from Adam $10,000 for the benefit of being put into a job I’ve never heard of. That looks like a no-brainer.

    And as for doing deals – If there’s one thing a customer knows it is that a given deal at a given price is usually available at the same price or a better price on another date or with another supplier. Why deal with someone where you know that there is a middle man when you can do a deal with them at another time and date, probably for 5% less?

    Those are the reasons why I don’t think that this model will fly – rather than being just poorly presented, I think that it is fundamentally misconceived.

    Sorry for being a bit harsh, but I’ll do you no favours by being mealy mouthed about this.

    Steve Alker
    Xspirt
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