Know-How Exchange : Just for Fun

From https://www.limeduck.com/2008/02/18/no-parrots-were-harmed-in-the-making-of... a tested, clean, highly-adaptable all-purpose business joke.

It’s good to be here in [wherever you are, if you can remember - say something nice about the place and segue to...] The other day, I was walking around near the hotel and I passed a pet shop with a big sign, “we have talking parrots!” so I figured I’d check it out. Inside there was a huge cage with three parrots in it. I asked the shopkeeper, “so, how much do talking parrots go for these days?” [for some reason, I find this works better when you tell the story in the first person, perhaps because then its not immediately apparent that you're telling a joke]

The keeper pointed out a beautiful green parrot preening itself on the bottom perch, and said, “that one’s $895″ “Wow,” I said, “that seems like a lot.” “Well, that parrot can do telephone tech support” [pause here for a laugh, there should be one because this is the first sure sign that this is a joke. This is also where you might need to customize to your chosen industry and audience. If there's no laugh here, its going to be a long, dark 5 minutes]

OK, I say, how about that one, pointing to the yellow and orange parrot sitting above the green one and chewing on some leaves. “that guy’s $2,095″” Two thousand bucks? What can that parrot do?” Apparently, the yellow parrot is Cisco certified for both voice and data networks. [this is the tough part of the joke, if you get a laugh here, you're home free - it helps to ham up your confusion and skepticism about the talented parrots]

I can tell that I’m not in an ordinary pet shop, but I persevere and ask about the last parrot, the grey parrot on the top perch. [if you can stretch it out with a long-winded description of the parrot, it'll help.] “Ah, the grey,” says the keeper, “he’s a very special parrot. I hate to see him go, but you can take him for $4,995″ Now I’m starting to wonder about this guy, but I ask anyway, “what could this parrot possibly do to be worth that much?” [make sure you up the ante on your utter disbelief that the parrot costs $5k]

The guys says, “well, I’ve never actually seen him do anything, but the other two call him ‘boss’”

How many Marketing Directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Oh, wait! is it too late to change it to neoon?

Marketing Explained

You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You go up to her and say, "Hi, I'm great in bed, how about it?"
That's Direct Marketing.

You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You give your friend a buck. She goes up and says "Hi, my friend over there is great in bed, how about it?"
That's Advertising.

You go to a party and see an attractive girl across the room. You somehow get her mobile number. You call and chat her up a while and then say "Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?"
That's Tele-Marketing.

You go to a party and see an attractive girl across the room. You recognize her. You walk up to her, refresh her memory and get her to laugh and giggle and then suggest, "Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?"
That's Customer Relationship Management.

You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You stand straight, you talk soft and smooth, you open the door for the ladies, you smile like a dream, you set an aura around you playing the Mr. Gentleman and then you move up to the girl and say, "Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?"
That's Hard Selling.

You go to a party, you see an attractive girl across the room. SHE COMES OVER and says, "Hi, I hear you're great in bed, how about it?"
Now THAT is the power of Branding!



This joke, and many more from https://www.webmarketingezine.com/marketing-jokes/marketing-jokes.shtml

Article: "How Many Internet Marketers Does it Take to Screw in a Lightbulb"