Topic: E-Marketing

Subject Line - Can You Recommend Improvements?

Posted by Peter (henna gaijin) on 250 Points
The company I work for, helpUhire Solutions (, sometimes sends targetted emails to potential customers. I don't think the subject lines we are using are as good as could be, yet I know a bad subject line would reduce the number of people who read the message. I was hoping that the experts here could provide suggestions for improvements.

Some of the subject lines we have used:
"Are you ready for resume overload?"
"Prevent resume overload"
"stop the 50% of unqualified applicants from wasting your time"

Any suggestions for better subject lines?

In case you want more details, here is the body of one of the emails we send:
When you post a job opening, it is not uncommon to receive hundreds of responses. Managing this response load is a very time consuming task, as you need to open each candidate's resume and cover letter so you can understand their qualifications. And it is often a very frustrating task, as many unqualified applicants apply and waste your time.

HELPUHIRE Solutions' FASTool is a web-based pre-screening tool that saves you time by allowing you to quickly and easily find the best applicants. We provide you with an email containing a summary of the candidate's skills/experience and a numerical score, allowing you to know with one glance if the candidate is worth considering. And we do this for less than the cost of a job posting on Monster or HotJobs!"

You can use the online demo feature at to quickly see for yourself the benefits of FASTool.

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  • Posted by Pepper Blue on Member
    Hi Peter,

    Some questions, and I will check back tomorrow for a response:

  • What are your open rates over the life of this campaign?
  • How long have you been sending, and what is the frequency, of this current email marketing campaign?
  • Have you seen your open rates rise or fall depending on the subject line?
  • What is the response rate - click through and actual conversion or prospect inquiry to your calls to action?
  • Is your only call to action the one mentioned above?

    Without seeing an actual example (sign me up or send me one) I will comment that people don't "read" email marketing, they "scan" them, and again, without seeing the real thing, I notice too much paragraph text; bullet points are much more effective.

    I would also like to see your formatting and layout because it looks like this might not be as compelling as it could be.

    I wish I could give you the cure all answer, but I just don't find it that simple to do. The "magic" subject line is just one part of the puzzle and it is something that all email marketers are constantly trying to figure out.

    The secret recipe takes time and a lot of strategy, one tweak at a time.

    I hope that helps.

  • Posted by Peter (henna gaijin) on Author
    We don't have any data on open rates or anything like that. The numbers we send out are relatively small, and we have not put any tracking methods in place. We only send a few dozen messages per week to highly targetted contacts.

    My goal with this KHE question is to get improved subject line wording so that when someone sees our message in their inbox, they will open it. What you are suggesting about content and format is important, but only after the message is opened. For now I want to keep the scope of this question from creeping, so will leave out the format question (though I may ask about this in a later KHE question). Hope this doesn't offend.
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