Know-How Exchange : Advertising/PR

Dear Branch Manager,

As you know, the past 12 months have been very difficult/trying/exciting (pick one) for your/our/the (pick one) company. However we believe that the next 12 will begin a turn around/more difficult (pick one) for us/our industry.

Many branches have found that selling [your service/product] has helped them solidify the relationship with their local/key (pick one) customers. And, those relationships have always been the key to success in difficult/trying/exciting times.

With that in mind we would like to schedule a refresher training session with your front line staff in June/July. Our goal is to assist you as you continue to grow your business/office.

We will call/e-mail/mail you to schedule a time that has the least impact on the operation of your business.

We/I look forward to meeting with you soon.

Kind regards,

Kathy Wong

The key is to see things from their perspective if you can. What is in it for them. From *their* perspective how would it benefit them.

By the way, why a letter and not a phone call? I think a phone call would be more effective as it is too way communication and you might learn the reasons immediately and take corrective action, overcome objections, and win the order.

The work you are putting into thinking of and writing just the right sales letter would probably be about the time it takes to make 20 phone calls. That's a start.

BTW, it is fairly well know that this is the rank of communication effectiveness:

1. Face-to-face
2. phone call
3. writing (email these days, mostly, but I think sales letter still ranks below a phone call)

Why not go for 2 as it is fairly efficient and effective.

I assume the "pick one" is a mail merge field.

You lost me in the first paragraph because you failed to catch my attention. I am just a simple bank manager (speaking from the reader's point of view) - all I care about is money, customer service but mostly money. How about a money hungry statement in the headline which will make the bank manager's ears point up? I know I said this already but my feeling is money will grab their attention because that is what makes a bank manager's world go round.

If they're not selling, instead of mentioning the lack of sales, find out what problems they're having selling. Is it a lack of knowledge on their part, a problem with the product/service, a better offering elsewhere, or the wrong product/service for their demographic? Tell them you want them to sell more (for both of your sakes), but need to know how you can help them.