Know-How Exchange : Advertising/PR

Maybe it's that I'm not in your target audience, but the premise doesn't ring true to me. I can't imagine being in the fix you're describing, so the promise seems pointless.

Have you done any research on your target audience to see what kinds of problems they have with their agencies? Did this come up as a big one? If so, then maybe it will resonate. If not, then you should probably start with some solid research -- just as you would if you were doing this project for a client.

(If I'm ready to go off on holiday, why would I wait until it's too late to make sure my campaign is ready? And even if I did wait too long, I'm not sure I'd trust an agency with whom I have no real familiarity with an important project without a proper vetting first. It just doesn't make sense.)

How about heading the video with a headline that asks
" What do you do when ...?" and then fill in the blank with an explanation that you reveal in the video. The thing that bugs me is that the guy in the video is talking to someone or something off camera. Coo-ee mate, your viewer is over here. At 23 seconds, might the video be a tad short? And the opening lines about me being ready to go on holiday but that my campaign isn't. Is my campaign going on holiday?

I couldn't make out what the last thing he said was either. "Brief the exchange" was that it? Why not come out with a more compelling call to action, and perhaps a clickable link on the screen?

Seeing this out of context, with no knowledge of your company, it falls a little flat.

The basic concept, "no alternative," is strong and aggressive.

Assuming you want some detailed feedback, in the first video I would like to have seen:

1. Some visual investment. A calendar with "vacation" marked off. A picture of the wife and kiddies standing next to suitcases. Airline tickets. Something.

2. Having said that, it would be more believable with a cleaner set-up to the story. Nobody starts a campaign and leaves on vacation in a few days, do they? How about, "You've got four weeks until vacation, how are you going to ...?"

3. Volume was low, even when turned up full. Don't think that's on my end as I don't experience that problem with anything else.

4. The speaker swallowed the punchline at the end. I had to listen to the video twice to "get" that he was saying "Brief the Exchange."

5. The speaker didn't tell me why the Exchange would help me. I just need some kind of hint about why it would be my fail-safe if my bags are packed. Something like, "the exchange is so fluid that you get results when you need them" would have been enough.

6. "Brief the Exchange" may mean something to someone who is familiar with the Exchange, but not to someone encountering it for the first time. I thought I was watching a Blur thing; then it turns into an Exchange thing; I wondered for a moment whether the Exchange was a Blur client ... so either in the video or on the web page, connect the dots for me or promise to explain it on the next page.

7. The "Submit a brief to the Exchange" button on the web page should be much more prominent. Gray, at the bottom, with the same type as everything else, didn't really get me there.

8. When I did get to the Exchange (by clicking the button), the connection between Blur and the Exchange was not clear. I noted the prominent "11,740 creatives" and thought, "OMG, are they going to send my brief to 11,000 people I don't know? My boss/PR director/shareholders will kill me." (At that point, had I been a potential customer, I would have departed.) However, WAAAAY down at the bottom of the page, after the potential client has written their brief, only then is the Exchange explained and fears allayed. So, on the landing page, it's imperative to move that 1-2-3 explanation right up to the top.

Again, I think the aggressive positioning is great, but there's some tidying up to do before Round 2, including the eye contact mentioned by the others above.

Thanks so much for sharing this with us!

Stellar, in-depth advice from Peg and Randall (as always) so please, take note.

I've thought more about this and here are a few other points.

LOGICAL PROGRESSION: Could your spot be less vague? All this talk about "no alternative" (which, BTW, needs a capital "N") drops your viewer into the middle of something, a place in which they have no point of reference. No alternative to what? Where? When? How? Likewise, "suitcase" needs a capital S, and, it starts off with this odd word, almost as if we're playing word association. But, with a little logical progression in the mix, a headline that reads "What do you do when your ABC won't XYZ? Watch our video to find out." This sets a stage, asks a questions, and issues a call to action. Each point presenting its baton to the next point. With me?

A NEW MICROPHONE: Does this guy HAVE to bloody mumble so much? For goodness sake, a wireless mic from Amazon will set you back no more than $200 and it'll be money well spent.

REHEARSALS: No idea who this chap is. Dunno if it's you, your boss, some bloke of the Charing Cross High Street, or WHO he is.

No idea.

But whoever he is, he's not what you might call the most dynamic spokesman you could choose, is he?

He needs to project!

I'm not saying he has to look as smooth as George Clooney or Daniel Craig, nor am I saying he needs to boom like Brian Blessed, but unless you're going to put
a splash shot up that tells us who this bloke is, all your video tells me is that all you've got to show in terms of
a lead spokesperson for your company is Martin Smith from Croydon, and he's not what you might call a "natural" in front of the camera (sorry mate, just trying to help).

To build viewer confidence this bloke needs to look the viewer in the eye; he needs to be comfortable as your talking head, he needs a decent script, and he needs to be a little more dynamic, believable, and engaging, and less clenched. He needs to be standing up, not sitting down. He's slouched. Not the best position to be in to create trust and belief in the mind of your viewer. And could he, just for a second, could he bloody smile for the camera?

And again, that last line? What the hell does he say? Again, he needs to project. But he doesn't. He offers no clarity, he provides no anchor: he mumbles. Sounds like he's got a mouthful of Rolos. Perhaps some vocal warm up is in order, then you'll be able to PROJECT, man! PROJECT! https://youtu.be/1_z_dDAfkTg