Limited Time Offer: Save 30% on PRO with code WOOHOO »
Become a Member
Guides and Reports
Show All »
Metrics & ROI
Search Engine Marketing
More Marketing Topics »
Corporate Training Solutions
See All »
Schedule of Events
Virtual Conference Series
Speak for Us
Marketing Writing Bootcamp
Products and Services
Post a Question
Quick Start Guide
Find and Post Jobs
Real-World Education for Modern Marketers
Join Over 600,000 Marketing Professionals
Ask your question ... sign up today! It's FREE!
Just for Fun
Search more Know-How Exchange Q&A from Marketing Experts
This question has been answered, and points have been awarded.
Best Subject Line For Energy Analysis Offering
12/11/2017 at 12:19 PM ET
I'm a new business development manager for a company that does comprehensive energy conservation consulting services for large commercial and industrial companies with facilities over 50,000 sq feet.
I'm reaching out to a list of businesses in a territory where we've been contracted by the local electric company to provide free energy audits to large energy consumers to help them reduce their energy usage (anywhere from 5% to 30%).
The audits are completely free. We get paid by the utility company.
I need assistance with my email marketing. Particularly the best subject line to use.
So far I'm using "Free Energy Audit" as a subject line in my introductory emails but am not getting any responses.
I think maybe people are skeptical of free offerings.
I'm directing the emails mostly to facilities managers, energy managers, operations managers and sometimes CFOs.
We have a long track record of working with large, respected national and multi-national companies like Kraft, Land O Lakes, Sysco Foods, Miller Brewing, etc... So we definitely have the portfolio to win new customers. I just need to get prospects engaged.
Thanks so much!
Peter (henna gaijin)
12/11/2017 at 1:15 PM
First, I would check your open rates to make sure that your messages are getting through. Depending on your mailer and other factors (including subject line, "free" is often a word that increases the chance of being flagged as spam by less robust spam filters).
Once you confirm they are getting through, I would instead focus on the benefit you are offering (the 5 to 30% energy saving) rather than the feature (free audit). In the email, I would put it toward the start about how the utility will pay for them to have a free audit to see if money could be saved, as this would likely get over a possible objection they may have (cost).
With emails, assuming you have a decent number of possible contacts, you can do A-B testing. Try one subject line to a few and another to a different set, and see which works better.
12/11/2017 at 4:49 PM
You have demonstrated once again that telling people what you do and how inexpensive it is doesn't work. Peter hit the nail on the head: tell them the benefit they can expect if they do what you want them to do. How will THEY be better off? What important problem of theirs do you solve?
12/11/2017 at 5:21 PM
Peter and Mgoodman I appreciate your responses. I'd love to hear your ideas on how to work that in a subject line other than "Save 5 to 30% on your electrical bill".
12/12/2017 at 6:21 AM
"Guaranteed Lower Electrical Bills"
"Bottom Line Electricity Discounts"
"Corporate Discounts For Utility Bills"
12/12/2017 at 12:38 PM
Start by trying a series of A/B tests using the 3 suggestions from Jay. Share the results here and we will suggest 3 more that build on what we learn from the first 3.
12/12/2017 at 11:22 PM
Name of Utility offers a free energy audit.
Cost you nothing; saves you much
12/13/2017 at 2:45 AM
Could you save up to 30% on your electric bill?
You may be paying more for electricity than you need to
Are you paying too much for electricity?
Find out if you're paying too much for electricity
Find out if you could save up to 30% on your energy bills
Get a free energy audit from [electric company]
BACK TO TOP
Post a Comment
Five Content-Led Marketing Campaigns That Drive Results
by Chris Cano
What Brands Post on Social vs. What Consumers Want to See
by Ayaz Nanji
How to Schedule Your Social Media Updates More Efficiently
by Lilach Bullock
How to Craft an Email Newsletter That Gets Marketing Results
by Chandra Blouin
Is Your Content Strategy Heading in the Right Direction? ...
by Jake Athey
See more marketing articles »
MarketingProfs uses single
sign-on with Facebook, Twitter, Google and others to make subscribing and signing in easier for you. That's it, and nothing more! Rest assured that
provide your social data to 3rd parties
contact friends on your network
post messages on your behalf
interact with your social accounts
Your data is secure with