Question

Topic: Website Critique

Important! Please Review My Site Again

Posted by Anonymous on 10/16/2006 at 6:03 PM ET 200 Points
I've made most of the changes suggested before. However, now I would like a final review, as well as the answer to the following question:

Did I put too much information on my How I Work page? I've applied for several writing jobs recently and know people have visited my site. However, nobody has contacted me. I realize some of these people may take days/weeks to choose someone. But I'm concerned that my payment policies may scare people off. What do you think? Should I leave that information or any other information currently on that page off and cut is down drastically?

The url is [inactive link removed]

Thanks in advance for your help!

[Moderator: Inactive link removed from post. 2/14/2011]
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RESPONSES

  • Posted on 10/17/2006 at 7:40 AM Member
    Hi Ellie- Liked your website. Clean and Precise. Its just a matter of time before your website hits translate to business.

    Few things- Pls change the pictures. Post famous paintings, or handwritten quotes by authors that you admire, quotes on writing etc.

    Consider putting in a picture of yourself.

    Put in more testimonials from your previous clients.
  • Posted by Clive Fernandes on 10/17/2006 at 7:57 AM Member
    Dear Ellie,

    Let me be frank. Your website just does not say writer!

    First of all, there is a discrepancy in the "person" writing your website text. In parts of your website including the "How I Work" section - you have written in the first person. Later on, in the "Contact" and the "About Ellie" sections the voice changes to the 3rd person. You might want to work on that.

    Secondly, the use of paragraphs and bullets points is something I would suggest in most websites. But in your case, take a little liberty - you are a writer, I would love to see some more flow and longer paragraphs in your text.

    Also, agreeing with the opinions above - the pictures do distract. I realise you have them there to emphasize a little bit on your creativity - perhaps a separate section for them would be more fitting.

    You say you are concerned about your payment policies scaring people off. Have you already taken them off, because till the best of my efforts I was not able to locate any such policies.

    I think a rethink of your entire presentation is in order. As I said before, your website needs to say "Writer".

    Hope this helps.

    Clive Fernandes
    Clive Fernandes Consulting


  • Posted on 10/17/2006 at 3:42 PM Accepted
    Hi Ellie,

    The main problems that i see are only two:

    1. The website content is not catchy in a business sense, its more like a personal blog or homepage to give information. To make it attractive for business, you need to bring some preciseness, like pointed out earlier that its written nowhere in prominence that you are a professional copywriter.

    In service industry the best marketing is to have other people comment on your work. Remember the consumer has apprehensions here as he cant see the final product, its black, in future; so nice experiences of others with you will strengthen them from inside to opt for you. Add some more testimonials and add picture of those people in case u planning to add some pics to your website.

    2. Secondly, just go through the website language. Everywhere its Ellie is this, Ellie stands for this, Ellie has these instructions..... . My personal suggestion would be to have it written about yourself like this only in About you section and everywhere else make it more formal and business like by using language like:-

    Now: "Ellie normally charges a deposit on all work from new clients."

    Modified: 'Normally a deposit is charged on all work from new clients."
  • Posted by Frank Hurtte on 10/18/2006 at 8:14 AM Member
    Ellie,
    I liked you site very clean, very refined.
    I looked at the how i work portion and see nothing that would scare me away as a prospective prospect.

    I think you are good to go....
  • Posted on 10/18/2006 at 12:25 PM Member
    Ellie:

    I totally agree with those saying, "you need to rethink your entire presentation."

    Starting with the template -- it's not professional -- it looks like one of those free templates. Your website quality should be a reflection on your writing quality. Yes, it's more expensive, but get it done professionally.

    Take a look at the top copywriters website and you will see a major difference.

    Also. you may be a wordsmith with over 10 years of experience, but I can tell that you're not a marketing writer. You focused on "you". You focused on "features". People care more about "how am I going to benefit from you" and "what am I going to gain".

    I understand that you're more of a magazine/publication article writer than a marketing writer. Even though you may be a writer, you may need to hire a writer who specializes in marketing communications.

    I don't mean to be harsh, but I analyze websites, brochures, dm copy, online sales letter copy and online article submissions every day. I tell my clients, straight out, my thoughts on their work and what needs to be changed. Can I be harsh at times -- yes. But they thank me for it. You'll thank me once you start getting results, once you change your thinking and get your website professionally designed and written. If you need help, I can do that for you. Call me at [phone number deleted by staff] or email me at [email address deleted by staff]

    Good luck!
  • Posted on 10/18/2006 at 1:38 PM Member
    Hi Ellie,

    I totally understand your circumstances. As I said before, I did not mean to be harsh in anyway, I was just telling you from experience.

    If you want, I can write a strong sales letter type of home page, that focuses on benefits and gives a strong call for action -- something you are desperately missing. I can do this for $297 -- then as a writer yourself, you'll be able to see my style and incorporate it to the other pages.

    If you're interested, give me a call -- 908-380-8564 or email me at eric@prleads.com

    Good Luck!
    Eric
  • Posted by jpoyer on 10/19/2006 at 12:25 AM Accepted
    Hi Ellie,
    Just a note: be sure to check your pages for typos (like the space before the period on the very first sentence) ... even more important because you are professing writing and editing skills, your site needs to be impeccable when it comes to grammar, usage, etc. This includes things like using em dashes instead of hyphens. And things like making sure there are no obvious mistakes like the extra space on the "How I Work" page after the #6 in the last item. Use HTML ordered lists to clean up the look—think of it this way: if you were providing copy to a client, it would be formatted with hanging indents and appropriate tabs instead of a plain list, right?

    The thing with first person versus 3rd, even if you fix the content to be in 3rd, you still have your main category "How I Work" in 1st, so that definitely goes back to rethinking your whole approach. I recommend you use plain terminology and active voice throughout as well. (i.e.: Instead of the stuffy: Work commences on receipt of the deposit.) And, if you don't want to say "I" you can always use "we" which is better than speaking in 3rd person, and implies you're a company, or group with more resources.

    If you are a copy writer, treat yourself as you would treat one of your clients ... Editing, target audience—the whole enchilada! If you say you write for the web, which you do on your site, why not use this project as a good start to practice for web writing? Make your own web site sing!!!! You take the time to re-write your text, and then bring it back here to the experts who can continue to help you hone it till you get the feel for what web writing is about. You have a great opportunity to learn here!!! :)

    I really like that you included the testimonial-type quote on the side of your pages, be sure to be consistent with the presentation of these quotes. (The two different quotes are formatted differently, and then the matched quotes are formatted differently from each other as well.)

    Good luck, I hope this helps. From one writer to another, GO GRAMMAR!!

    Best Wishes,

    Jennifer
    XPRT Creative
  • Posted by ReadCopy on 10/19/2006 at 3:58 AM Member
    QUICK CHECK. When I saw the site for the first time, I was IMMEDIATE drawn to the quote/testimonial that starts "Once Ellie knows where she's going she can really fly." [How I Work page]

    Ditch this first sentence of the quote, if I was looking for a writer, I wouldn't pick you because this sentence makes it sound as if you find it hard to get going or be inspired .. no what I need from a writer!
  • Posted by ReadCopy on 10/19/2006 at 4:31 AM Accepted
    More feedback now I have had time to look at the site for longer. When I get Usability clients, I am always keen to stress that I cannot tell then their site is good or bad, just what works/should work or what a potential customer of yours would be put off by :-)

    PRESENTATION: Simple but effective design, I would be tempted to place you name in a bigger font to make it more prominent in the header.

    I like the use of yellow - it suggests inspiration and energy and more so when used with the orange. Overall a pleasant appeal and satisfies the 3 second rule.

    DESIGN: Logical design to pages, I would possibly consider joining the orange lines of the header. Rather than modern or artistic, it looks like a broken image and just plain wrong to the mind and could suggest error or mistakes in your work.

    Homepage lacks some pazzaz, consider highlighting words like "Finely", "shine" etc in the orange color of the bars to extra focus. Also consider a slightly larger font size. The font size difference between menu and body is too great and take some focus of the body text.

    Consider moving the "About Ellie" button to below "How I work" ... remember its less about you and more about what you can do!

    TERMS: I can see your issues here. NDA is at the discretion of your client not you! Don't mention a deposit up front (unless you suspect a bad debt then never ask for a deposit anyway, it looks unprofessional a good contract is all you need - if you want to send me your standard contract offline I could review that for you too).
    Instead of "Terms" convert this section into what you will do for your client. I have a section which describes the way I work and my three step approach of "discovery, development and delivery", something similar may be useful for you, and as part of that, you can get some of these terms across.

    CONTACT: Rather than just email, suggest developing a form, that way you can suggest more information that just a email address and welcome message (i.e. type of work they are thinking about, timescales, budget, where they heard about you, address etc), puts you more in control when you contact them back.

    Whilst I haven't done a full test of the site (inc. accessibility), but I would be confident that the site would score 6-7 out of 10 (which is good), more work really needs to be done on the 'sales' side of the copy, call to action, presentation, as well as the issues discussed above.

    You will also need to look at search engine optimisation.

    The very best of luck.

    Andrew
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