Know-How Exchange : Website Critique

I like Option 1 better. It seems "friendlier" and more helpful. It's more attention-getting, more benefit-oriented and your eye goes straight to the picture (and the headline on the right).


Small nit:

"Contact us at for a telephone consultation and to discuss your family’s situation."

Take out the word "at"

(Actually, you should get both proofread, Option 2 says "throughtout" instead of throughout)

Between the two, I prefer option 1. However, I don't like that you're making my eyes go from the right corner at the top then left for the copy.

It's not very clear to me what problem you're solving, though, or who you expect to be reading this landing page. If it's elders, then I'd lose all the italics and make the font bigger.

You also need some testimonials, and I think you need an actual offer besides a 90-minute consultation (which I think is too long for marketing purposes).

While I think you're 100% correct to use a toll-free number, you should still make email and a contact form two available options for people to reach you. Not everyone wants to pick up the phone and call, but they will take your call. You might also consider a "Have someone call me now" button.

Your copy needs more in the ways of benefits, too...remember:

Problem: What problem does the reader have?
Promise: What do you promise to do to solve it?
Proof: Prove it. Over and over.
Proposition: Your pitch. Risk-free and irresistible.

Option 1 seems so much nicer and more friendly. Its not intimidating and makes the decision seem friendly.

The wording used in option 2 makes the company seem less sincere and the layout is not as aesthetically pleasing.

I too prefer option 1. I think the logo up top is distracting and doesn't help get the point across.

It might be nice to add a way for people to submit questions and contact inormation via the web. This would allow you to have a button that allows people to proceed forward. Sometimes on the web people will do this more freely then calling. The important thing with a landing page is to have a clear call to action and keep them moving forward in the site.

I did find it odd that the web address was a link on the bottom as I am assuming they are already at the site once they hit your landing page. I think you want to have your site's navigation present so that people can browse you site more. You have them there allow them to learn more.

Hope this helps,
Mike

Dear Melissa

Just in case it made any difference, I viewed the two pages in the opposite order, option 2 before option 1. Sometimes it makes a subjective difference, but not on this occasion – I have to agree with everyone else and say that option 1 is much preferred to option 2 both visually and in content.

I’ve made some additional observations on the text – I hope that you don’t mind, but I believe that our grammar shares much in common, even though you Yanks can’t spell!

The line, “If you have a parent that is getting older and may need assistance in the near future.” is not a sentence. Replacing the full stop with a comma will cure the problem. “you really don’t know where to begin, and you don’t have enough time to do the research then fits.”

The rest of the “If you- -” statements avoid this problem because they avoid using a full stop at the end of them, making them attention points, rather than sentences. To be consistent, you need to split this first one into two “If—“, statements and avoid full stops altogether.

Also, “If you have a parent that- -” is a little impersonal. “If you have a parent who ---” reads better. They are people, not objects.

Then the rest of option 1 flows very smoothly.

The language in option 2 is also less appealing than option 1, aside from any comments about the visual presentation. Asking open ended “If- - ” questions is a lot more attractive than the rather hectoring “What” and “Will” employed in the second text.

However, given my location, I must bow to local opinion – after all, we only invented the language – you guys use it most often these days!

Best wishes


Steve Alker
Xspirt