Question

Topic: Advertising/PR

Advice For A Strong Advertising Lead Letter...

Posted by m.anderson on 2/24/2009 at 10:07 AM ET 250 Points
Hello,
Through direct mail, I am going to be sending out an advertising letter to targeted companies to provide them with information on advertising on my Web site.

What would be a good starting point and should I omit any mention of pricing?

Here's what I have so far:

Dear Mr. Anderson,

I am writing from "www.sample.com" - an online community with over 925,000 members, who I believe are all very much interested in your products and services.

With this in mind, I would like to let you in on our exclusive cost-effective advertising options that I invite you to take advantage of.

Benefits to your company:

-Reach 100,000 e-newsletter subscribers

-Promote to 150,000 unique homepage visitors per month

-Be a part of a top U.S. Web site. (According to Compete.com, we are currently in the top 5% of the most visited U.S. web sites).

-Reach 925,000 members, with 10 – 15,000 new members per month joining.

-Service & Dedication: I will personally work to insure that your business gets the maximum amount of exposure and benefits of being located on our web site.

For special rate information and/or questions please feel free to contact me directly at: 123-4567 or test@test.com.

I look forward to the opportunity of working with you to help promote your company and service to our valued members.


Sincerely,
(signature in ink)

contact info

P.S. - I believe our members would be very interested in your service, and I hope to have the opportunity to personally help promote your company.


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RESPONSES

  • Posted by michael on 2/24/2009 at 10:22 AM Accepted
    Maynard,

    Sorry, but you lost me in the first line because it was about you, not the prospect.

    "Dear Mr. Anderson

    Online advertising is unmeasurable and a waste of money. Actually, I agree with you.

    Part of the problem is.......

    What makes this different is......

    """"""""

    See where I'm going with this?

    Michael
  • Posted by m.anderson on 2/24/2009 at 10:32 AM Author
    Hi Michael,

    Yes and thank you, I see the change in tone bringing in the curiosity factor that will encourage someone to read further on to browse our circulation #s and options.

    If I utilize an opening like the one you have suggested, can I still use the original closing?

    Thanks again.
  • Posted by m.anderson on 2/24/2009 at 11:22 AM Author
    Hello,

    Thank you and yes, my initial attempt was to highlight our strong points of number circulation and benefits being more straight forward and to the point, at the beginning of the letter.

    i.e.: "Here's the deal, here's how we can help, contact me if you want a special rate to reach our members"

    If I see an opening that is too catchy or contains too much word play, my senses say they are trying to sell me...however in some cases if the opening is witty and unique, it puts a smile on my face and I am compelled to read on.





  • Posted by m.anderson on 2/24/2009 at 12:20 PM Author
    Hi Steve,

    Thanks, I'll focus on putting together a compelling offer from my options to drive some lead action.
  • Posted on 2/24/2009 at 1:06 PM Accepted
    Don't start with the solution, start with the problem, the hook that gets them to read more.

    Imagine you could ......

    Or hook them with a headline that incites curiosity. Not "Lost Child Found" but "Missing Child Was Living in a Monastery"

    What Michael said works because it makes you want to read more! It acknowledges the general skepticism, addresses why the skepticism exists, and then gently turns the letter towards rebutting the skeptics and addressing why your solution will get better results.

    Readers don't care about your circulation numbers and options; they care about themselves. They care about earning more money, cutting their stress, having more time with their families, saving their jobs, etc. Tell them how they can do that.

  • Posted by m.anderson on 2/24/2009 at 1:22 PM Author
    Yes, thank you, I see what you mean. Very interesting.

    So things of this nature:

    Imagine you could...

    increase conversions over night...reach thousands of new customers...bring new eyes and clicks to your site...

  • Posted on 2/25/2009 at 2:41 PM Accepted
    You're going too fast...Paint the pretty picture first... let the reader see it in his/her mind. Talk about their lawn, not your grass seed.
  • Posted by telemoxie on 2/26/2009 at 2:27 PM Member
    I have personally always been a fan of honesty in marketing.

    I am curious, do you really believe that all 925,000 people are highly interested in the products of each person you sent this direct mail piece to?

    Personally, when I see a statement which is that unbelievable, I began to have doubts about the other claims made in the letter. It sounds to me as though the actual facts are in your favor. Why should you exaggerate?
  • Posted by m.anderson on 2/26/2009 at 3:22 PM Author
    Thank you, I appreciate your advice.

    The original was a first draft posted to bring up discussion and receive advice. I believe in honesty as well in marketing. If a company or publication has a readership of a certain number, it is safe to state that number, but the statement that everyone will be interested is indeed an exageration and shouldn't be worded that way.
  • Posted by CarolBlaha on 2/26/2009 at 7:21 PM Accepted
    Michael nailed it-- make sure you give him points. You aren't creating curiousity as much as you are validating your first objection. "this does't work". Its always good sales to validate an objection and a pivot comment-- that turns them in your direction.

    The # of viewers is a good feature, but the benefit is?? When you write a good letter give it the "so what" test. I have a gazillion viewers-- "so what"? Put that answer into your copy.

    Everything in the clients mind is the WIIFM radio station "what's in it for me"



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