Question

Topic: Copywriting

Rephrasing My Promotional Message

Posted by Anonymous on 4/2/2009 at 12:28 PM ET 250 Points
Hello everyone,

I'm not well verse in english, particularly phrasing my message so I hope you guys can help me out.

This is a message for an ad print for our contest we're organizing soon. Is there a better way to phrase the message to make it sound convincing and get people hype up?

----------
ABCD Lucky Draw!

Tell us what you think of ABCD and get rewarded!

Step 1) Go websitedotcom/contest
Step 2) Fill in your name, email (your email will ONLY be used to notify you if you’ve won) and your feedback.
Step 3) Submit

Once submitted, you’ll automatically be enrolled into the lucky draw and stand a chance to win the following!

1) 1st prize
2) 2nd prize
3) 3rd prize
------

I'll like to make it sound effortless and there's no strings attached. We just would like to sincerely hear what they think about our product and we will reward them.

The target audience of the ads is teenagers so the phrasing can be unconventional and hip as well..

Hope you guys can help me out, I'll really appreciate it..

Oh btw is there any clauses I should include for the fine print for such lucky draw contest?

Best regards,
Josh
To continue reading this question and the solution, sign up ... it's free!
SUBSCRIBE
Or, SIGN IN

RESPONSES

  • Posted by kevin.shoesmith on 4/2/2009 at 12:46 PM Accepted
    Damn right we want to know what you think!

    Tell us what you think about X and you could be the lucky winner of X.

    No ... we're serious. All you have to do is go to our website and give us your opinion. And you could walk away with X.

    What are you waiting for. Go ahead ... speak out!
    ------------------------
    Speak Out ... and Earn $XXX (or whatever Prize is offered)

    Speak Your Mind ... and Earn X

    Tell Us What You Think! Earn X

    Your Opinion Could Earn You X

    We want to know what you think about [product]. We're not kidding. Tell us what's on your mind.

    It's easy to win. Just follow these steps:

    1. Click xxxx
    2. Fill In xxxx
    3. Submit xxxx

    One lucky dude will win X just for speaking up. It could be you.
  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 4/4/2009 at 11:27 AM Accepted
    Free Stuff For Speaking Your Mind
    2 Minutes Can Earn You $$$
    Free Prizes. No Small Print.
  • Posted on 4/4/2009 at 6:06 PM Accepted
    What country? What are the rules for sweepstakes promotions?

    You probably need to get a professional copywriter who has experience with promotional copy in your country. The way you present the offer/proposition will impact buy-in and acceptance more than anything else. Don't skimp on that or try to be the master if you are not a master already.

    And by all means don't mess with a sweepstakes promotion if you don't know the laws and regulations in the area where you'll be running the offer.
BACK TO TOP

Post a Comment

Related Discussions

Community Info

Top 25 Experts
(Copywriting)