Topic: Copywriting

Trouble Deciding On Header For Press Release.

Posted by timberboxes on 500 Points
Objective: pushing the public to my band's gig Feb 17. Band seen at

Target distribution: Physical newspapers and online in a somewhat remote town of 100,000 population (Temecula, Ca area).

Issue: Which release would be more likely to get published...

A) "Playing in a band looks fun but holding a band together isn’t for the faint-hearted" Or,

B) "One Night On The Town. R&B, Funk, Soul. Join The Marcus Syndicate's Dance Band with Their over 50 years experience on this Magical Night".

Problem: I need to have a lot of people on the dance floor (I'm recording a Promo Video) and don't, as of late, feel secure about the club's power to to this with an unknown band (mine).

With (A) above I'd seguay into the gig location / date at the end.
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  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on Accepted
    Neither of these options are likely to get published because you're trying to use a press release as a free advertisement for your event. A paper may publish it if there's a benefit to the community (a fundraiser) or if the band/promoter is a local "hero." More likely to get some print is to publish it to the local events calendar.

    Both of your headlines are about the band/business. If you/they aren't well known, then you're compounding the lack of awareness. If you're wanting to get people dancing, then lead with that: "Dance music you'll love. 100% guaranteed." or "Lose 1000 calories dancing at XXX."

    Best of luck.
  • Posted by timberboxes on Author
    Yes, I want to get them dancing, but I also need to publish. Does your re-orientation do it?
  • Posted by timberboxes on Author
    I wonder what story Is publishable. Yes the first one intends to make money, but the bulk of it is more of a guidance article. Just playing devil's advocate.
  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on Member
    The best publicists have working relationships with newspaper editors, so they know what stories are likely to be of interest. A "cold" press release's success is otherwise just a random chance. If you can pitch a story to the music editor of the paper, then you might get some interest.

    If you have the funds, create your own advertisement. But are you sure that your local newspaper caters to your target audience? It may be more effective for you to spend some funds on social media advertising targeted tightly for the week before your event.
  • Posted by timberboxes on Author
    You know, I've considered that before. The relationship with the editors is prob better than finding a genius writer. Thanx for reminding me. The writer would know the demographics of each newspaper. And I happen to know age, gender, and ethnicity for my target cities.

    I do extensive soc media posting in 10 entertainment Facebook channels. But maybe we can get even tighter to my target geographic area.
  • Posted by mgoodman on Accepted
    The chances of getting the publicity you seek are much greater if you make the story about the compelling benefit for your target audience, not about the band. What's in it for the target audience? Why should they show up? How will their lives be better if they do what you want them to do?

    As the old saying goes, there's no free lunch. The reason people hire PR professionals is that they know the local editors, the demographics of a newspaper's readers, and what kinds of headlines and articles work best. If you really need a big turnout for the event, consider what it's worth and hire a professional.
  • Posted by timberboxes on Author
    mgoodman agree. Marketing is always for Them.
  • Posted by timberboxes on Author
    So how do you find publicists who know the media in your target area? I just got replies from some heavies on They're in my neighborhood.... and 1 hour away from my gig, as I am.

    I'm sure they'll say they don't need to know anyone. Their process is good enuf. Then I could say fine, get paid by the number of papers you get into.

    I could ask the target editors the writers they like. Of course they'll know what I'm up to. LOL. Does it matter.
  • Posted by ahsanwahab2221 on Member
    The first headline "Playing in a band looks fun but holding a band together isn’t for the faint-hearted" is a more general and philosophical headline that may not immediately catch the attention of readers looking for an upcoming event. It may be more appropriate for an article or feature about the band or the music industry in general.

    The second headline "One Night On The Town. R&B, Funk, Soul. Join The Marcus Syndicate's Dance Band with Their over 50 years experience on this Magical Night" is more specific and attention-grabbing, it highlights the band's name and genre of music, and it creates a sense of excitement and anticipation for the event. This headline is more likely to get published as it highlights the key points of the press release, the band's name, their genre of music and the event's date.

    It's also important to note that the second headline mentions the band's experience, which is a great selling point, it also highlights that this is a "magical night" which creates an emotional connection with the audience.

    You could also try to incorporate the location of the gig in the headline to make it more specific and appeal to the local audience.

    In conclusion, the second headline "One Night On The Town. R&B, Funk, Soul. Join The Marcus Syndicate's Dance Band with Their over 50 years experience on this Magical Night" would be more likely to get published as it's more specific, attention-grabbing and it highlights the key points of the press release, while also creating a sense of excitement and anticipation for the event.
  • Posted by Gary Bloomer on Member
    "Issue: Which release would be more likely to get published ..."?

    Honestly? Neither of them.

    Forget about writing a "press release" (and for the love of God, don't write PRESS RELEASE at the top of the sheet/page).

    What you're talking about here is a MEDIA release ... media ... ALL media: so that means radio, podcasts, local and regional TV stations (all of them), AND print outlets.

    Your first port of call is Google because you need to find the names, email addresses, and phone numbers of the people best suited to actually be receptive to receiving your release.

    This list needs to include on-air talent and assignment editors; it needs to include producers and production assistants; and it needs to include editors and writers.

    With this list in hand, you make phone calls to each person and you ask them how they prefer to receive their content and their media releases (via email, via fax, hard copy, delivered by hand, whatever) ... whatever works for them. If the person you reach out to isn't the right person, ask who is. Be sure to get the correct spelling of their name and their full contact details. Then you reach out to them and you make sure to send your release as requested.

    Do NOT send a blanket email addressed to "to whom it may concern" ...

    Here's why all of this matters:

    Pretend I'm the editor of a local newspaper you want to get a full page spread in.

    Pretend I'm the assignment editor or producer or host of a segment for a local or regional TV station.

    Pretend I'm a DJ or presenter on local and regional radio.

    In compelling words and pictures and audio and video, paint a lively, enthralling, and attractive picture of what's on offer I won't have to burn three hours editing because it's so badly written that dramatically and memorably shows my readers/listeners/viewers how much fun they'll have dancing to your music.

    On your website you tell me "WE BRING THE PARTY ... A DANCE POWERHOUSE"

    OK. That's a good start. Show me how.

    Now share some of the testimonials from your site in your release.

    Paint a vivid picture.

    Make my job as easy as possible.

    Offer me something to give away to readers to pull people in through the door on the night (free tickets, t-shirts, other swag).

    Give me accurate dates, times, and places of when and where you'll be playing.

    Give me your social media links and website address.

    Approach me personally. Put the body of your media release in the body of an email.

    Likewise images.

    Give me links to online media that don't look bogus.

    Send me your stuff and then follow up a few days later asking if I have any questions, or if I'd be free to chat for five minutes.

    Good luck.

  • Posted by timberboxes on Author
    I'll assign credits once seeing what works. I hired someone. This can't take too long in that my Feb 17 gig is only moments away.

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