Know-How Exchange : Copywriting

I'm not sure who you're targeting. It's not the home business (since "..fix your office's computers" doesn't apply to a home - it would be "..fix your computer"). It's not an IT department, which has as its mission to keep technology working. So, who is the intended audience (especially since you label yourself as "Information Technology Specialists for Homes and Businesses")?

If you're targeting a business, quote them a benefit that applies - "save 25% on your IT costs" or "reduce IT downtime by 12%" (etc.). If a home, then something like: "let us keep your home computer running 24/7 for you".

Also - what technology platform do you specialize in: Mac/Win/Linux?

Wehn Yuor Cmeputor Akcs Stooipd - Call Us

The role of the headline is to grab the attention of your target audience. And the way you usually do that is by giving them (a) an indication that you understand them and their pain, and (b) can deliver an important and unique benefit that will address their need.

The more clearly and specifically you do that, the more effective the headline will be.

There's a real problem when you try to have one headline addressing two different target audience segments, each with somewhat different needs. Either it's going to be so general as to be not-quite-right for both audiences, or it's going to be specific to one and completely miss the other.

In your case, the home market and the small business office are distinctly different segments, and they probably view their needs, and the decision-making process, differently. To assume that just because they both have/use computers that might need attention they are somehow the same is going to get you in real trouble from a marketing/advertising perspective.

You probably ought to focus singlemindedly on one of them, and then acknowledge in smaller print that you also serve the other. If you try to be specific to both in your headline you'll end up being appropriate for neither.

BTW, I think the placeholder headline isn't terrible. It focuses on a pain point and suggests that you offer a way to address the issue. It's also specific to the office customer, which is good. The one thing I don't like is that you make the computers seem like "the office's" problem, not a personal one. That kind of takes the emotional payoff out of the equation.

Cannot take credit, but can share what a local computer specialist uses for head:

Computers fail. We don't.

Just throw it out there for consideration....

P.S. love NovaHammer's suggestion!


Best,
jag
MarketBase

Will You call a Doctor When your Child falls Sick?

Its the same for your computer.


I've used a home situation as the attention grabber. And haven't started with 'Won't' which is the obvious question...Just to twist it a little...And the subhead explains what we are driving at.

Its pretty straightforward with enough intrigue in the headline.

ThnQ,

RJ