Question

Topic: Copywriting

Company Relocating To Larger Facility-

Posted by Anonymous on 8/24/2010 at 8:45 AM ET 250 Points
In this downturn economy, our company is relocating within the city to a larger office/warehouse facility. Sending out a 1-page flyer with picture of building and need to make a statement that we are still growing despite the current conditions.

Need feedback on the following: "(Company name) is moving and expanding to better serve our customer's needs."
To continue reading this question and the solution, sign up ... it's free!
SUBSCRIBE
Or, SIGN IN

RESPONSES

  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 8/24/2010 at 4:35 PM Accepted
    For a start, get rid of "our customer's needs" and replace it with "you".

    Next, what purpose will the flyer serve? Is it for people who are used to visiting your old location and you want to redirect them to your new one? Or is it a fancier "change of address" note? Consider the key question: Why should someone care that you're relocating?
  • Posted on 8/24/2010 at 7:46 PM Author
    Yes, people do visit our facility. We stock paper and service is key. The larger warehouse will allow us to carry more stock.

    So, people do care and need to know our location.
  • Posted by susancarrollcreative on 9/29/2010 at 12:50 PM Member
    Personally, I'd send your customers an invitation rather than a flyer.
    I'd organize a "grand opening event" and make it fun! Serve food, of course, give away prizes, and maybe even have some games. Have a ribbon cutting (maybe using a variety of your coolest stock)
    Invite the press.

    Think up a theme, such as Origami. For example, let's say your best service is the speed of delivery. So brainstorm things which express that: say, a paper airplane...a bird flying (a carrier pigeon maybe)...and create that in origami as the cover art for your invitation.
    Then, decorate the store with origamis of that theme (there's dozens of different airplanes you can make...my son has a book of them).
    Depending on your budget, there are artists who specialize in Origami..

    If you'd like me to handle this for you, I'd be thrilled to do so.
    Anymore questions contact me at susancarrollcreative@comcast.net

    (PS: Do you ever watch "The Office")?
BACK TO TOP

Post a Comment

Related Discussions

Community Info

Top 25 Experts
(Copywriting)