Question

Topic: Copywriting

Ppc Landing Page Critique

Posted by JerryC-PA on 12/26/2011 at 9:33 PM ET 125 Points
Hi again from a mechanic trying to write,

I've been reading lots of articles on copywriting, and I'm trying to use what I'm learning to write landing pages. One of the articles that influenced my writing is this one. https://ppcblog.com/ppc-copywriting/ Particularly the part about aligning my copy with my market (the third headline down).
I think I've been moving forward in my writing, but I still want to run it by you guys before I run it.
The searcher would find this landing page with the keywords "auto electrician".


If you need an auto electrician you found one.

We Fix Auto Electrical Systems.
It's ALL We Do.
Call.. 484-401-9394


When you want your electrical problem fixed right call us at 484-401-9394 for a consultation. Our expertise will be evident.

Focusing on electrical systems means we will efficiently repair your problem. Our repairs are accurate and dependable.

Car electrical systems are complex, and can be difficult to repair correctly. It makes sense to have your car evaluated and repaired by someone who specializes in auto electrical systems.

Thanks,
Jerry
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RESPONSES

  • Posted by JerryC-PA on 12/26/2011 at 9:36 PM Author
    I forgot to say I'm writing to the guy referred to as a Hunter in the article.
    Jerry
  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 12/27/2011 at 7:57 PM Accepted
    As a minimum, include the region you're in. Not everyone can figure out where 484 area code is.

    Also - include some typical problems that confound the "other guys" and where you can save the car owner significant time/money. Why should someone come to you FIRST?

    Do people refer to their problem as "car electrical problems" or "auto electrical systems"? Use the words that people with problems use.
  • Posted by JerryC-PA on 1/3/2012 at 8:50 PM Author
    Thank you Jay,
    I appreciate your time and suggestions.
    Jerry
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