Question

Topic: Copywriting

Copy For B2b Creative Ad Campaign

Posted by riley.smith on 12/28/2011 at 3:35 AM ET 250 Points
I own a shopper marketing company in New Zealand and am planning an ad campaign in some trade magazines next year. Currently the draft copy reads "Shopper marketing is the antidote to the downward spiral of discounting and price promotions. Flashlite Media shopper marketing can add value to the shopper experience in store and beyond. Now with more formats than ever before, including floor decals, shelf talkers and leaflet dispensers to enhance your customer's in store experience. If you're an FMCG retailer looking to boost sales and enhance your customer's experience in store let's get in touch"

I would really appreciate any feedback and suggestions for improvement.
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RESPONSES

  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 12/28/2011 at 9:12 AM Accepted
    You're selling what you offer, but without any clear specific benefit ("..is the antidote to the downward spiral..." has no proof - just your opinion). Instead of selling your menu of services, can you tell them a story of someone you've worked with that they can relate to?

    Aside: I wrote a brief article on this topic here: https://www.manygoodideas.com/2011/12/01/marketing-a-little-or-a-lot/
  • Posted on 12/28/2011 at 3:01 PM Accepted
    Jay nailed it, as usual.

    You need to have fewer words and focus all of them on the benefit for your target audience. What's in it for them? And what is the call to action? What do you want them to do if they want the benefit you promise?
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