Question

Topic: Copywriting

Need To Condense Mission Statement To One Sentence

Posted by angela.weiser on 2/7/2012 at 11:03 AM ET 125 Points
Below is a proposed Mission Statement but it's way too long. We would like to condense it to ONE or maybe TWO short sentences. Can be worded differently but have the same meaning.
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We are an industry-leading provider of sustainable building solutions, focusing on innovative and cost-effective HVAC management. Our mission is to be the 1st Choice Design, Build, Operate, and Maintain (DBOM) firm throughout our active markets. We seek to achieve this position by establishing lifelong client & facility relationships, based upon a commitment to understand and exceed customer expectations.

In a similar fashion, we aim to be a 1st Choice employer by creating a Company culture built upon a We Care philosophy. Believing that great careers lead to great companies, we strive to impart a value system of doing the right thing, looking out for one another and living up to one's responsibilities.

Our focus is to develop a Company reputation wherein both clients and our staff are very proud to be associated with our great company.
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RESPONSES

  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 2/7/2012 at 11:56 AM Accepted
    (Aside: your mission statement is probably no different from any of your competitors'. What makes your company unique?)

    As an industry-leading provider of sustainable cost-effective HVAC management solutions, we seek to establish lifelong relationships with everyone we interact with (clients, facilities, and employees).
  • Posted by angela.weiser on 2/7/2012 at 12:04 PM Author
    You are right on about it being no different than our competitors.
    Our differentiation: We have and use the latest technology in our industry, have been in business since 1901.

    I like what you wrote but I think it still needs to be shorter... something that each employee can say when asked what our mission is but different from our competitors.

    Maybe a play on words?

  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 2/7/2012 at 12:45 PM Member
    For a mission statement, you want it as clear as possible to avoid any misunderstandings. Given your feedback, how about:

    Using the latest HVAC technology, we're a world-class client, facilities, and employee leader.
  • Posted by SteveByrneMarketing on 2/7/2012 at 9:18 PM Accepted
    "Technology Leader in HVAC Solutions"

    To better understand development of the brand statement and positioning strategies, check out this article:

    https://stevebyrnemarketing.wordpress.com/branding-article/

    Steve
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