Question

Topic: Website Critique

Have Updated My Website. Feed Back Welcome.

Posted by Anonymous on 25 Points
i posted a question a few days ago. and got good feed back and helpful. i have done what i was advised. although i am in the knowledge i am a long way off.. but would love to hear opinions so far. x
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RESPONSES

  • Posted on Author
  • Posted by Moriarty on Accepted
    Hi Irene,

    you have added some text to your website, for active copy, you do need to use a direct, active writing style. No "why not indulge" instead "will heads turn as you sachet into the room? Will he look deeply into those eyes now graced by careful strokes of a fine brush?" and so on ...

    Get some inspiration here - it's a great place if you feel a little jaded with your copy!

    https://www.jpeterman.com/Womens-Skirts/Celestial-Skirt

    This sort of thing both helps position the item in the search rankings and hits the imagination of your target. Now: have you sorted out your most popular items, have you worked out where these people are coming from (= what search terms they are using to find you). Because you can aim straight at these people (and keep each page quite distinct - then each page leads to your site in a unique manner).

    As I say, take a look around the J Peterman site, you will see how they deal with each item differently. Don't copy them directly, take their inspirations. Adding of course the details as they do later on when the interested person really *is* interested.

    Hope this helps!

    M xx
  • Posted by Moriarty on Accepted
    PS great to see you back and making use of suggestions!!
  • Posted by Moriarty on Member
    Hey! Tell us all how it goes! Promise?
  • Posted on Author
    I'm a little confused with the word 'copy' i have researched and tried to put in my own words? feed back gratefully excepted. xx
  • Posted by Moriarty on Member
    "Copy" as in copywriter - it is a trade term for the wording you use in your advertising. That is why I pointed you towards Mr. Peterman. He is the copywriter's refuge when inspiration fails!

    So your copy is the wording on your front page for example: "Thank you for visiting my store. I hope you enjoy browsing through with 'no obligation' to buy. We have everything from perfumes to lipsticks with brand names. I welcome any feed back to improve this store. Happy browsing and a very! happy new year to each and everyone."

    One other tip, change your text editor when finalizing a piece. The change in style and interface do a lot to take you out of the intimate contact you have - and you can see it with new eyes. Reading it out will help too.

    Writing for advertising is quite different from writing a blog, newspaper article or a whole book. It is short, focused, direct and impelling.

    To your success - and some enjoyable hard work - M xx
  • Posted on Author
    Could i get into trouble for copy writing? which I did not think I did by the way. Thoughts gratefully excepted. xx
  • Posted by Moriarty on Member
    Good morning! If you take an idea from someone and make it your own, you are only doing what copywriters have done for a century.

    So don't copy directly, use the inspiration. Imagine someone enjoying the results of what the make-up set does for them and write it down. If you're stuck for imaginings, look at J Peterman and think "aha! I can describe what she feels when ... " or somesuch.

    In this case "copy" isn't ... well ... copying! I really hadn't tied those two concepts together ... so don't copy someone else's writing. Write your own copy that is inspired by what they say.

    Have fun! When you get into it, this sort of thing is inspiring. M xxxx
  • Posted on Author
    i am taking on board what your advising ms M. xx
  • Posted on Author
    could you point out please which pages need the most work on? I understand if you are to busy. thank you. ms M xx
  • Posted by Moriarty on Member
    Irene, all your pages need work. When you have a website such as yours, it is your visitors who are the judges. It is they who tell you all this. Because they are always changing means your website needs to change with them. As it grows, your ideas will come with it.

    Look at the paths they take through your website, find out where they come from. What are your most popular pages?

    Okay, if you want to start at the other end, which pages are those that inspire you to write about them today? If they are written about in the J Peterman style, this will take some really hard work. It will pay off, and it really should be for your most popular pages. So start with three pages and your front page.

    Have a welcome message that really encourages them to read through to the end and click!!

    ****
    For your pages you need a format that is Story part1 - details about the object being offered (which you can intertwine in the story if you like) - Story part2 which includes the encouragement to buy it and a "add to shopping cart" symbol.

    So take a Peterman story at random and re-write it about your product. Change the colours, nouns, whatever so that it doesn't infringe their copyright. The story after all, is a story that anybody can tell. The story is the essence here. Use the story in your own setting!
    ****

    Oh, and today my website is getting its make-over, so I'm not that busy save that Brian has a cold and the washing needs doing. That and looking at houses in Leipzig (which he is doing, and annoying me at the same time!).

    Have fun!
  • Posted on Author
    thank you xx
  • Posted by Moriarty on Member
    Keep us updated! xxxxx

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