Question

Topic: Copywriting

Need Help Asap...

Posted by Anonymous on 4/16/2013 at 7:45 AM ET 250 Points
i need a text min,must have between 8-16 words about pools(swimminpools).i need it for an advertising mail...that means door to door...rich and poor peoples...thx
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  • Posted by Peter (henna gaijin) on 4/16/2013 at 1:34 PM Accepted
    What? I don't understand the question. What is a text min? You want to sell pools to poor people, as in people who can't afford pools? Door to door?

    Guess this is not who I would target for pools, and door to door is not how I would try to reach out to the people I would target.
  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 4/16/2013 at 3:40 PM Accepted
    What can you tell us about the pools you're selling? What makes them better/different? For who? When would they buy them?
  • Posted by Moriarty on 4/16/2013 at 3:43 PM Accepted
    If you can share with us why someone would buy one of these pools from you and not someone who has been in the area for the last 25 years? What sort of guarantees can you offer regarding workmanship and quality - and satisfaction?
  • Posted by Gary Bloomer on 4/16/2013 at 5:10 PM Accepted
    Benefits. No one here can help you pass on the benefits of doing business with you until you fill in a lot of holes: who you are, where, why buy from you, your primary offer, your secondary offer,how to contact you, your promise and your call to action.
  • Posted on 4/17/2013 at 1:48 AM Author
    We are a company from Romania,in this business for like 20 years now and no1 since 2009.We want to sent Easter cards,a little gift from our company but we need also a smart text to attract our potencial clients.i think that text must be between 8-16 words max,the text should not be a eastern greeting.
  • Posted by Moriarty on 4/17/2013 at 3:54 AM Member
    Right: you're top guys. That means you have customers, lots of them. Now this is a little late to be starting a campaign for the Orthodox Easter (just two (?) weeks away). So this strategy will have to be general.

    Because a "smart text" might not be so smart to those customers who are most likely to buy. Okay? My point is to focus your targeting on those people who do. That doesn't mean they're rich and Romanian - it means they like your style, like your crew because they are busy and cheerful.

    What makes your "potential client" in your eyes? Just having enough money - because I'll guarantee that there's another angle to this. **Just knowing that one detail** will increase your sales 25% from this one campaign (or thereabouts). Surely that is worth your working for?

    Why wander around the posh areas of Bucharest with a postcard with some sales patter that doesn't tell anybody about you at all? Will people just take your "little gift" and think "more junk mail" or "spammers!!"

    In the meantime try these - and then when you do your next campaign focus the campaign and see the difference it makes!

    When summer has come, you'll have a swimming pool!
    It's Easter now, by summer there'll be a pool in your garden
    Doesn't your garden deserve a pool for those lovely hot months?
    What about your family roasting in the garden and no pool! Ready in 6* weeks! (or however long it takes)
    Why are the kids always going next door? Get your own pool!
    Romania's best pools for 20 years. Your very own in just six weeks.

    What are your thoughts on these? Right direction or not? Remember this one thing: you and I are not buying these pools. YOUR CUSTOMERS ARE. It has to speak to them, not anybody else. Because they wouldn't buy anyway, whatever the reasons.

    Mix and match!


  • Posted on 4/17/2013 at 6:38 AM Author
    I tought a small story can be verry attractive...something like : you've worked your entire life,you deserve a reward.we can make your garden an oasis , a dream garden for you and your family and an attraction for your friends.For the last 20 years this is our goal.

    Something like this,but in my oppinion it is only for the old people...i want it to be general.

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