Topic: Website Critique

Splash Page Topteamgold

Posted by Anonymous on 500 Points
Is this site I built good and would you suggest any changes
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  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on Member
    Michael - Your splash page describes the cost, but not who you're targeting, or what you're providing/selling. After watching the (poorly made) video it seems like this is a pyramid/matrix scheme - requiring you find enough people willing to pay in $25 (or is it £25?) - which are illegal in many parts of the world (including the US: Finally, the text on the splash page is poorly worded ("Full training given I will help you" and "Would you spend $25 and let the kids and grandchildren see that you are not old and stupid"). To answer your question: No, your site isn't good, and the change I'd made is to not get caught in the scam.
  • Posted by mgoodman on Moderator
    What is the benefit? Who is the target audience? Why might they want to participate? What's in it for them?
  • Posted by Gary Bloomer on Member
    Which is it? $25? Or £25? U.S. dollars and British pounds have differing values. Confusion over the currency you're working in undermines your credibility.

    Who is the "I" in this narrative? "Now I have found the £25 legacy program I am feeling less worried about the future. Will I still be smiling in six months? I am hoping to be spending some time in Vegas, taking the wife on a well deserved cruise. Finding time to write that second novel and maybe hiring someone to make a film of my autobiography."

    What has stupidity and age got to do with grand children in this copy? "Is this you? Worried about money all the time? Would you spend $25 and let the kids and grandchildren see that you are not old and stupid. Be able to treat them to the nice things they need and deserve."

    You're using passive voice throughout. You need to change that.
  • Posted by Gary Bloomer on Accepted
    A few minutes spent poking around on the onsite video tells me this is a pyramid scheme. Be careful here. The FTC takes a dim view of these kinds of "opportunities".

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