Know-How Exchange : Advertising/PR

If you're offering surgical design services why is there an image of a blacksmith hammering a piece of red hot iron on the front cover?

In most cases this image alone will kill any desire for most doctors to read more—which most doctors won't do anyway, read that is—because: 1. you spend too much time talking about your company and its services, and 2, because from what i've seen so far, I see little by way of real benefit to your prospective audience.

In most situations where you're dealing with doctors (and I know this from having worked in hospice marketing), if your prospect is not doing most of the talking, you're wasting his or her time.

The sales copy is too long, it needs fewer buzz words, and it needs simple, bulleted points. The images need to speak more to the kinds of devices and the kinds of patient outcomes your prospect is looking for. You'd also do well to offer multiple calls to one point of action, as well as outlining the next step.

Put yourself in the shoes of a prospective client ... What is the unique and compelling reason they might want to work with you? What BENEFIT can they expect?

Your mission statement isn't important to them. They want to know what you can DO for them. If we take the statement literally, you are facilitators of the invention process, whatever that means. (What do facilitators actually do?)

KSA and Gary are right about "too much copy" and no clear focus on what the BENEFIT is. Try sub-heads with active verbs ... the promised deliverable(s), not the work you'll do. ("We'll make sure you get the patent or refund 100% of our fee." Etc.)