Question

Topic: Website Critique

Is It Clear What We Do?

Posted by robhoward on 9/13/2017 at 3:42 PM ET 125 Points
We've been in private beta for the past few months and are preparing for our launch.

I'd love some feedback on our website direction. It is not complete, but I'm looking for feedback on the positioning/messaging on the home landing page:

https://www.dailystory.com

Is it clear what we do or are we over complicating it?

I've written a lot of the copy and I tend to get too much into the weeds :)

——-

The pitch:

We believe all your visitors deserve a chance to become your customer - and we built the customer engagement platform to help make that happen.

What we do:

We help B2Bs with long, non-transactional sales cycles understand where, how, and when they acquired customers and provide the platform to track, convert, and manage them.
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RESPONSES

  • Posted by mgoodman on 9/13/2017 at 5:06 PM Accepted
    The thing that's missing from my perspective is a clear statement of the BENEFIT for your target audience. How will their lives be better once they are using DailyStory? What big problem do you solve?

    You do a good job IMHO of telling people WHAT you do, but it's not so clear what BENEFIT (the WHY) they can expect when they are using DS. Is it just time-saving? Can you document/claim a higher closing ratio as a result of better lead tracking and nurturing?

    What is going to get someone in your target audience to click on that first page to learn more? What is the compelling benefit? (Somehow "deserving a chance to become a customer" doesn't sound like a strong enough promise.) Do you solve a problem that's keeping the CEO or the CMO awake at night?
  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 9/13/2017 at 8:37 PM Member
    The following points are unclear to me:
    - Who specifically is likely to benefit from your solution?
    - How do you compare to solutions these people may already be using?
    - Do you have any proof that what you're selling works (better)?

    As an aside: your video is highly gender-stereotyped and may send the wrong message.
  • Posted by telemoxie on 9/14/2017 at 10:12 AM Member
    My suggestion would be, rather than telling people what you do, why don't you show them what you do?

    You claim that you have the skill and ability and knowledge and tools and experience and staff to create programs which engage your prospects. Okay, engage me. Show that you believe in your technology by using it yourself.
  • Posted by robhoward on 9/14/2017 at 2:48 PM Author
    Thanks everyone for providing some feedback. It is very appreciated.

    I accepted Mark Goodman's feedback as the answer. I'm working through that feedback now.

    Jay and Dave, thank you for your answers too.

    Jay, I had not considered that the video may be gender-stereotyped. I outsourced it very early on and plan to have them build a new one.

    Dave, it is being used on that site. Specifically visitor tracking, exit intent on the blogs, and chat. I'd love to show you if you didn't see that.
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