Know-How Exchange : Advertising/PR

hi there

have seen your design. regarding the top page the advertisers will not be attracted. u have pic of all your editions there and that i think clutters it. also there is no catchy phrase.

its seems too cluttered at the inside page (where you mention your rates) bcoz of the too big size of the coupons.

also the other inside pages have too small a font and too long sentences. pls make them short and catchy so readers (prospective advertisers) dont loose interest. honestly, visaully the inside pages rather a turn off to advertisers. they will not even bother to read what you have written. for example, write "Why more than 90% of our clients renew" instead of what u have currently. numeric 90% is more powerful than word Ninety. also state the features/reason under this headline in bullets (might be better).

take off the PEW research and Federal Communication Commission from the text and put them at the bottom. i mean u mention the data (86%..... and 61%.......) and put * to the bottom for reference. advertisers love to see the Numerics. also highlight the 235,000 students and $9.95 price. its currently lost in words.

also shorten the text of the Yellow Pages Directory, Student Discount Section, Yellow Pages to go, Reach Student Online. this will make the page look more decent and spacious.

in the back page can you place some pics of the stores of some of the universities u are reaching?? it might make it look more realistic.

lastly. i like the advice of corepr of a catchy name. hope that helps. just my 2 cents.

cheers!!

Some notes/comments:

- do you charge the same rate for all the schools, as the student populations vary significantly. Seems like it may be of less value to an advertiser at Northern Arizona versus Texas A&M.

- do you provide a sample book along withe the rate card?

- I am confused. Under the reach students online, you talk about reaching students for as little as $78 per year, but this doesn't match anything on your price list (where it looks like it could be done for $59 for 1 school)

- I assume the 2X on the rate book is advertising for 2 schools? Are most of your advertisers such that they would advertise in 2 or more editions? My thought was that most were local businesses, so would not. If this is the case, it may be clearer to just list the 1x price, and note that discounts are available for advertising in 2 or more editions. If the discount if a set percent, you could list the percentage (e.g. x% off the ad in the second book).

Just a few comments on your copy:

On the inside, under the "Student Discount Section", I would change your wording to:

In this secton, businesses offer money-saving coupons just for students so they can tap into the student market while these young men and women are forming their buying habits, spending their disposable income, and beginning to form their own brand perceptions and customer loyalty.

I would do away with or rewrite the "not . . . not" at the end as it kind of sounds off. Maybe something like, "Almost all of our customers renew. It pays off!"

Under the testimonials, there's a comma missing in the Nelson testimonal --should be: "distribution, and . . .". Same thing in the last testimonial--should be, "newspaper subscriptions, and hair cuts . . ."

One thing which keeps jumping out at me is the order in which you describe what you do. Your first point is "reach students on-line" - and I thought we were talking about a printed document. I'm confused, if a printed book is a good thing, then why do you start talking about your online version? I would consider changing the order of those descritive paragraphs - put some sort of benefit oriented headline on "what is the handbook" (e.g. even "Students love the handbook" would be better) and have that on the left, then the printed yellow pages description upper right, then the internet on the lower right.

I agree with many comments above that the headlines are typically "about you" as opposed to being benefit oriented. Read each headline, and ask yourself, "so what?" For example, your publication is "reaching 235,000 college students". So what - do really care about the circulation of your publication - or am I interested in getting my message to up to 235,000? (and your figure is a bit of a bait and switch - it's actually "up to 235,000" )

Folks love to test - could you find a place to suggest that your flexible programs allow them to inexpensively test in just one market?

And you repeat twice in headlines that over 90% renew - why not use some of that space to tell me why that is important, e.g. "Our program is proven to generate business - and over 90% of our advertiseres renew" might be a starting point.

Do you have copy deadlines, or reservation deadlines that could be on this piece? Is design, art and/or copywriting included in the price? Yes? Say so. "one price covers everything" kinda thing.

A testimonial from a student or two wouldn't hurt either! Do you get letters or email from students? Do they offer you suggestions? Do you listen? Tell your advertisers you give them "what they tell us they want." (Oops, I'm adding even more copy - that might be bad.

Also, a call to action of some kind near a newly enlarged phone number, wouldn't hurt. (I don't know, "place your order by July xx and recieve a 50% discount on your online listing!" There could be many others.)

I don't mind the very-full-of-copy look in this piece, for this market. All the copy blocks are justifiable to me. There are many viewpoints to this density / length argument. In this case, if you have history with a piece like this, and this approach has been effective, leave it. The design suggestions have been good in this thread. Take advanatage of them.

To make it more spacious, you could print a larger piece, 6 panel maybe. Print costs on this piece aren't worth arguing about - it's vital.