Know-How Exchange : Copywriting

Couldn't find any templates. Try this on though

Dear XXXX:

On behalf of the Acme executive team, I'm privileged to take the time to extend our appreciation for the great job [you did on XXXX] [you do on a daily basis], and proud to formally acknowledge that excellence in performance.

Your efforts in [detail specific actions, tasks, decisions, solutions or whatever] contributed to Acme's success in many ways. It accomplished the task at hand certainly. But it also provided everyone here a perfect example of how to "do it right and do it well."

Your committment and dedication are much appreciated, and again we all wish to offer you our warmest thanks.

Sincerely

Executive First Name signed on top of formal typed signature

I think a sloppy, handwritten personal note from the executive would have greater impact than something on formal stationery from a ghostwriter.

But that's just me.

;]

Shelley's,

actually right here. It's proven that handwritten notes get kept longer. They also are more appreciated in this microwave move me along quickly, please don't ask me to give anything a personal touch world.

PERSONAL TOUCH GOES FURTHER AND SAYS WAY MORE THAN ANYTHING YOU CAN TYPE UP.

I've got plenty of letters of commendation if you're just dying for some of the same old corny, phony macaroni, feed me balony stuff like that.


AGAIN MAKE IT PERSONAL.
Write it on a thank you card,
write it on a note card.
wRITE IT ON sTATIONARY.

The first time Mark Victor Hansen (Co-Author of Chicken Soup For The Soul, wrote me a scribbled up note on a post card you know what I did with it...
dunn---dunn-dunn---Dunn---DONE.... I hung it up on the wall and proudly displayed it. I'm sure your executives probably won't go for this. Thank God I had a couple of good executives who were much smarter. They wrote me "Love Notes" to inspire me to greatness. Tell your executives that's my recommendation. Again *Pretty Smart you're right. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Your Servant, Deremiah, *CPE (Customer Passion Evangelist"

I agree with Shelly and Deremiah that personal, even handwritten notes offering sincere comments are much better than delegated form letters. Their comments reminded me of one of my favorite stories, which contains an excellent example of what you are looking for. It's a bit long - I hope you don't mind that I've found it on the internet, and cut and pasted it below.


The List - Written by: Sister Helen P. Mrosla

He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was one in a million. Very neat in appearance, but had that happy-to-be-alive attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness delightful.

Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again that talking without permission was not acceptable. What impressed me so much, though, was his sincere response every time I had to correct him for misbehaving. "Thank you for correcting me, Sister!"

I didn't know what to make of it at first, but before long I became accustomed to hearing it many times a day. One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often, and then I made a novice-teacher's mistake. I looked at Mark and said, "If you say one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!" It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out, "Mark is talking again."

I hadn't asked any of the students to help me watch Mark, but since I had stated the punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it. I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I walked to my desk, very deliberately opened my drawer and took out a roll of masking tape. Without saying a word, I proceeded to Mark's desk, tore off two pieces of tape and made a big X with them over his mouth. I then returned to the front of the room.

As I glanced at Mark to see how he was doing, he winked at me. That did it!! I started laughing. The class cheered as I walked back to Mark's desk, removed the tape, and shrugged my shoulders. His first words were, "Thank you for correcting me, Sister."

At the end of the year, I was asked to teach junior-high math. The years flew by, and before I knew it, Mark was in my classroom again. He was more handsome than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen carefully to my instruction in the "new math," he did not talk as much in ninth grade as he had in third.

One Friday, things just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on a new concept all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with themselves, and edgy with one another. I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of hand.

So I asked them to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then I told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed me the papers. Charlie smiled. Mark said, "Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good weekend."

That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday I gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling "Really?" I heard whispered. "I never knew that meant anything to anyone!" "I didn't know others liked me so much." No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another again. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, after I returned from vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home, Mother asked me the usual questions about the trip-the weather, my experiences in general. There was a lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a sideways glance and simply said, "Dad?" My father cleared his throat as he usually did before something important. "The Eklunds called last night," he began. "Really?" I said "I haven't heard from them in years. I wonder how Mark is." Dad responded quietly. "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said. "The funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend."

To this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me about Mark. I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. Mark looked so handsome, So mature. All I could think at that moment was, Mark I would give all the masking tape in the world if only you would talk to me.

The church was packed with Mark's friends. Chuck's sister sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Why did it have to rain on the day of the funeral? It was difficult enough at the graveside. The pastor said the usual prayers, and the bugler played taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by the coffin and sprinkled it with holy water. I was the last one to bless the coffin.

As I stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. "Mark talked about you a lot," he said.

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates headed to Chuck's farmhouse for lunch. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting for me. "We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. I knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

Mark's classmates started to gather around us. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said without batting an eyelash. "I think we all saved our lists." That's when I finally sat down and cried. I cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

Sister Helen P. Mrosla

eltrain,

Of the 300 letters of commendations that I have received from clients and executives this is one of the ones that I received which is easy to put together:

Date

Address


Dear XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX

I wanted to take a minute to recognize and say thank you for your efforts on the XYZ Company account. It is people such as you that are enhancing our reputation as the premier provider of XXXX XXXXXX in the industry. Thanks again.

Sincerely,



John Doe
Executive VP


CC: XXXXX XXXXX, District General Manager

eltrain,

here is another one that goes into a little more detail:


Date



Name
Address


Dear XXXXXXX,

The fine work you have done on behalf of NXXXXX K-9 XXXXX, Inc. has been brought to my attentiion, and I would like to congratualate you on a job well done.

A company's reputation is built by the actions of all its employees. You have demonstrated that you are a team player and I want you to know that I appreciate your dedication.

Sincerely,


XXXX X. XXX
President


cc: XX XXXXXXX

If there are 50 people involved, it's all the more reason to make the note personal. Otherwise, it's a gesture that will have little meaning.

Use your influence on these busy execs to convince them that the only letters worth writing are those that come from their own pens. You can coach them on content.