Question

Topic: Copywriting

Crtique On Ad Copy

Posted by Anonymous on 3/9/2009 at 11:24 AM ET 25 Points
I can't decide on the closing. it is print ad on a professional directory; purpose is brand buillding.

I have to blank out some details in the copy. Any advice welcome.

Are you looking for a professional [services]?

[company] is an independent, licenced [service provider] in [country].
Our independence enables us to offer flexible, customised [description of services].
Let us put our expertise to work for you - closing option 1
Appoint us as your professional [service provider] - closing option 2
Contact us today to learn how we can help you - closing option 3

Insert here
company name
tel
email
website
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RESPONSES

  • Posted by Inbox_Interactive on 3/9/2009 at 11:35 AM Accepted
    Is this really about brand building or are you really after response. You have a call to action, so I don't think it's about branding at all...

    I also advise against starting off with a yes/no question...

    You need to talk about benefits and then come up with some real proof that can provide those benefits. "Flexible, customized (sorry, I'm on the other side of the pond)..." anyone can say those things.

  • Posted on 3/9/2009 at 11:55 AM Author
    Hi Inbox_Interactive

    Thanks for pointing the branding / call for action issue. The brand is relatively new and i guess we are trying to do both. Is that possible?

    Bcos we are licenced and independent, we are able to provide flexible and customised solution unlike some large institutions who have to use everything in house which sometimes is not necessary objective and work out best for the clients.

    What do you think about putting the benefits in bullet points?

    Thanks
  • Posted on 3/9/2009 at 11:58 AM Author
    Hi Barq,

    Can you elaborate more about embphasizing the service and not the source?

    Thanks
    Lynn
  • Posted by kevin.shoesmith on 3/9/2009 at 12:16 PM Accepted
    Here's a suggestion to play around with. Adapt it to fit your situation.

    You deserve the best [professional services] solutions ... and we deliver.

    Only an independent, licensed [service provider] can provide you with:
    * flexibility to keep you ahead of the curve, and your competition
    * customized solutions that increase your ROI by X%
    * personalized customer service that puts your concerns at the top of our list

    Improve your profit picture with one simple phone call!

    Good luck,
    Kevin





  • Posted on 3/10/2009 at 12:16 PM Author
    WMMA
    Thanks!
    Due to the nature of the business and also in this case the country is stringent on regulations for such business, the top people think licensing and independent are key words to have. Also we are advertising in a directory that are distributed to professional intermedaries and the advertisers are also intermedaires themselves. Benefits for using us is bcos we are small and flexible, clients get personalised service.
    Lynn
  • Posted on 3/10/2009 at 12:22 PM Author
    Hi all,
    Thanks for you the advice. There is alot to learn about copying writing. Any good book to recommend for reading on this subject?
    Is it worth to get a copywriter each time we do an ad?
    Besides ad, we are also reviewing all client-facing collaterals which will be a massive project. Just wondering if it would be more efficient and effective to hire a copywriter to do the project or attempt this within marketing with mgt inputs.
    Lynn
  • Posted by kevin.shoesmith on 3/11/2009 at 12:33 PM Member
    I certainly would suggest hiring a copywriter for reviewing and updating all of your client-facing collateral materials. It would be money well spent in my mind. Often, even your mkt. people and especially management people are too close to the products to be able to objectively put themselves the clients' point of view. Their ideas about what's important to highlight gets clouded because of this ... thus weakening your chance to get the readers'/clients' attention and hold it long enough to make a sale or contact.

    I would be glad and eager to discuss this further and offer my affordable copywriter services to help you enhance your image, improve your profit picture and make your life easier. You can contact me at kevin.shoesmith@mercer.com or give me a call 515-883-0596. Mention you are a Marketing Profs member when you contact or call. Thanks.
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