Question

Topic: Copywriting

How Do I Make This Reader-centric?

Posted by Phx SC on 4/30/2009 at 4:59 PM ET 125 Points
Hello Marketing Profs!

Here is a recurring challenge I have noticed in my writing.

I embrace the practice that I need to write about my audience and resolving their pain over any features/benefits my product has.

I am trying to showcase additional value that our membership offers to our subscribers. Let's say that using our pie charts gives them a shortcut to spotting SEO giants in their field.

Do I say--?
"use our pie charts to spot SEO giants..."
"our pie charts show you SEO giants..."
"you will spot SEO giants at a glance using our pie charts..."

Granted, my example text is not the strongest, but my question is more about the right structure to keep the reader in the action role.

What is your advice for doing this when structuring my sentence? Which one tows the line of keeping the reader as the focus while still making sense?

Thanks in advance for your help.


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RESPONSES

  • Posted by Linda Whitehead on 4/30/2009 at 6:03 PM Accepted
    From the three examples that you provided, in my opinion the first one is the best. It is action-oriented and about the user. It gives the user the clear benefit of using the charts, and is concisely worded. The second one is more about you and your pie charts. The third one is too wordy and the action becomes lost.
    In any marketing copywriting I do, I always try to keep in mind that the objective is to get the reader to do what you want them to do. Instructing them as to the action that they need to take, and how it will benefit them, is the way to go. And of course, the fewer words you can use to motivate this action, the better.
    Hope this helps

    Linda Whitehead
    Zuz Marketing
  • Posted by wnelson on 4/30/2009 at 7:22 PM Accepted
    Sidra,

    I have to say, it depends on context. For instance, if I am writing an FAQ section, the question and answer may be:
    What do I use the pie charts for?
    use our pie charts to spot SEO giants...

    Or if I'm writing an article differentiating our pie charts versus the competitor's pie charts, I may say, "our pie charts show you SEO giants..."

    On the other hand, if I am highlighting features of membership, one of the bullet items might be:

    o you will spot SEO giants at a glance using our pie charts.

    However, NONE of these have much to do with value. For value, you need to translate features into benefits. So what does quickly knowing the giants in the SEO world for their field give them? "Quickly" means "time savings (and money savings because time is money). Knowing SEO giants can help you identify who to go to for help and the benefit would be great results.

    When you're writing copy for a website, keep in mind value is NOT features. Look for the benefits to the customer first. After that, I know you will choose the right words and sentence structures to make the case.

    I hope this helps.

    Wayde
  • Posted by Phx SC on 4/30/2009 at 7:27 PM Author
    Great insight from both of you--thanks!

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