Know-How Exchange : Copywriting

Your concept of the cooperative approach is a proven one, although I think you may want to consider the driving value of your group being not price or savings driven. That can be one of the supporting marketing themes, but based on the type of services that your group represents, I don't think the clientele or prime target client would be drawn to a group positioned on "savings" or discount services. I would shift the groups catagory exclusivity as a means to position a message that says only a select group of providers that all represent a commitment to the client and is driven to ensure the quality and treatment standards are the best in the industry. Weaving that message into the group seems like you would draw the preferred more recurring type clients for your group and also one that would provide a better lifetime value. The group itself become more marketable and keeps the providers more honest as there would be a strong interest by competing providers wanting to take a spot should someone not meet the standards etc.

Good luck.

What geographic area do you serve, nosceo2000?

I think you are dismissing the suggestion of RapollaGroup too quickly, and/or you don't really understand it. Even when your main reason for being is low price/discount/savings, you need to stress the BENEFIT customers will realize when they deal with you. Low price is not a benefit; it's a feature. If people don't want the benefit, there is no price that will convert them to customers.

Net, I disagree with your mandate that "savings and price have to be the primary focus." If you focus on the low price, nobody will buy. You can certainly offer the discounts, and you may even become known for providing the lowest price, but that's not the reason people will join the group. They'll join because of the BENEFIT they hope/expect to receive.

The other experts have given you great advice. Perhaps lead your copy with testimonials of recent members: how easy it was, how wonderful the results, and how much they saved (note: be sure to read: https://www.ftc.gov/opa/2009/10/endortest.shtm).

If each of the members is already well-regarded and is well-trusted (as others have said, I'm not going to trust my body to necessarily the cheapest doctor - but if they're great AND inexpensive, I'm interested), then show the power of the plan.

This is a great conversation and there are many valid points. It makes sense to both highlight your competitive advantage on the homepage, as well as the overall quality that the doctors offer.

DO Remember that your homepage is your most valuable piece of "real estate" for your website. Make sure to include on the home page any words that you think people would be using in a search engine to find you (city + plastic surgery, city + dermatology, etc.).

Also, make sure to use these words in the title tag of your homepage and in the meta description. Additionally, make sure that each of your website pages has a unique title tag succinctly stating what the page is about and, again, using keywords in the title and in the page copy.

Very Best,
Stephen Turcotte
[URL deleted by staff]

Dear nosceo2000,

You've already told several people, all of whom have DECADES of experience that they don't understand your model.

Perhaps they don't. So that means it's your job to climb down off your high horse for a moment and EXPLAIN it to them. To all of us.

What is the relevance and significance of discounted plastic surgery? Why is a discounted service enough in terms of a compelling offer?

But before you go any farther there's an essential point you need to grasp, one that ties in with your copy. You tell your reader to:

"Check out our Member's Prices and you'll see why everyone is joining THBC."

Everyone? Really? I doubt it. Everyone is NOT your customer. Think about it. Everyone in the whole wide world? That's like someone saying they've told me a billion times not to exaggerate.

When any supplier tells its audience that "everyone" is its customer a huge red flag gets hoisted. "Everyone" is a wide, meaningless, catch-all statement that sounds good, but that
means nothing.

The sales term "Everyone", along with its close relative "All the time" needs to be taken behind the sales barn and shot.

Now, prices are on thing. But everyone is NOT joining your plan.
If everyone is your customer the service and its results are cheapened in the customer's inner world of perception.

When everyone is your customer your service becomes average, middle-of-the-road, so-so. And when this happens, ultimately, the service or product becomes invisible.

If I'm buying your service I don't want what invisibility. I don't want what everyone else is getting. I want special service. I want love, care, attention, and hot and cold running room service 24/7.

Personally, I have a face like a bulldog chewing a lemon—the perfect face for radio, and what I'd want from your service is a guarantee that you'll turn me into the Greek god version of Brad Pitt.

Do not sell on price. If you do this you attract bargain hunters,
tyre kickers, and wholly the WRONG sorts of patients for your top docs to hold up as referrals. I'm not saying there are the wrong kinds of patients because that implies that there's the wrong kind of customer, which is nonsense.

But as a doctor I don't want patients who are as ugly as sin and who I cannot help REGARDLESS of the amount of money they spend—and people who bitch, moan, and whine about every last charge. I want people I can show off

If I'm buying plastic surgery, I want THE BEST. I don't want a discounted doc. And if I'm selling plastic surgery I don't want bargain hunters.

I get the whole notion of the only reason for people to join is to get a discount on the service. But this, in certain minds MAY introduce an element of doubt and raise the question "Why is it cheaper?"

You've made it clear that several people here don't, in your eyes, understand your model. But tell me this: does your model work?
Are people taking advantage of the discounts and are patients entering and leaving the sales system happy (and better looking), and are the doctors IN the system happy with their increase in the number of referrals?

I'm not trying to be awkward here. I'm trying to find some common ground on which to build a firmer foundation.

Gary Bloomer
Wilmington, DE, USA

Dear nosceo2000,

I feel your frustration :)

However, polease be aware that this forum is a place for discussion and sharing of ideas and expertise :)

The experts of course will share their ideas and comments.

THey will also 'Help you to write your copy by offering guidleines and ideas on the direction and message'. Please be aware however that no one is going to write your copy for you without getting paid for the expertise :)

I think the most helpful thing that you can do is to post the link to your website so that we can all go and take a look at it instead of wasting time trying to figure out exactly what you are selling :)

Are you in the US for instance? the UK? India?

What is your target market? High end? low end?

The type of copy and message therein will need to be crafted to 'speak directly' to the target market. Are we talking mostly about women? men? of course the message is different for each.

I am currently selling health and well being online and generating well over $1,000,000 per month in incomes ONLINE.

I can promise you that PRICE is absolutely the last thing that people want to hear about. We know, we tried and tried and tried.

Honmeslty, they only want to hear about how much it costs, AFTER, we have already convinced them that our doctors are thr right ones to buy from.

People do not choose a doctor on PRICE - they choose on WOM reputation, naem, brand image and only then do thye care about the price.

Please post up the link to your site and the experts here will come back with some key points about 'crafting a message' that will help you to win business :))

Good luck.

Matthew

nosceo2000

I see you have opened up a hornets nest. I'm with you on this, as I have seen this kind of 'price-led' offer work well.

First I will explain it to the others, then give you the copy you want.

In many parts of the world, the COST of medical and other treatments is the key objection to purchase. In your case, the perceived cost of the treatment represents a barrier to overcome and outweighs all other considerations, including other benefits.

I know you have had trouble explaining the concept, but all the others need to do is look at the number of people who fly out of the country for dental treatment (to Mexico and Eastern Europe) and for cosmetic surgery (Argentina).

The objection (cost) is more important than the benefits, which do not need to be stated, as a qualified doctor's reassurance for most things is adequate. To cover those, you need a list of doctors with pictures, qualifications and experience with a gold background.

The key, as a copywriter, is to use the word 'CLUB' and invite new 'members'. I would start off by stating something like:

"The Health and Beauty Connection (THBC) is a closed club of highly qualified doctors, pre-eminent in their chosen fields, specializing in health and beauty. For a limited period, we are opening our club for new members. The Health and Beauty Connection club has, for XX years, offered specialist treatment at special membership rates. Apply today to receive full details with customer reviews and testimonials for your area of interest. Then, as soon as your membership is approved, you will receive our member pack and directory with 'firm price' quotes for treatments from our panel of doctors. "

I have not seen your site, but the copy above is the kind of thing that gets response. It is always worth holding some information in reserve that prospects must apply to receive. This information can be delivered via password access to a section on your website, as a pdf book, or hard copy. Before and after shots, as you will be aware, are always crowd pullers.

I hope this helps and fits in with your model. And I will reiterate once more: Before writing a piece of copy, always ask - "is there any reason why people won't buy this?" Unless that is covered up front and quickly, the prospect will not read on. With cosmetic and dental surgery, price is a major objection especially as in some countries such as the USA and the UK, prices seem to be set sky-high while in others, Mexico, Hungary, Argentina, there are superb doctors who provide treatment for a quarter of the price. That fact is always in peoples minds and must be dealt with in the first paragraph.

Good luck with this. I might join!

Peter -

Bravo for a good explanation to nosceo2000 and our forum.

Like Michael, I think you are wise to use "special membership rates" and "firm price' quotes" in your copy instead of saying "lower price, discount or savings."

Corpcommer - MC

Peter, we are looking into this...but I'd need your email address to sort it out.

Can you please email me at: bethh [at] marketingprofs [dot] com?

Thanks!
Beth
Community Manager, MarketingProfs

I just redid my home page and bio page. Well, I didn't do it, my marketing assistant is doing it. I'm following a content process I purchased a few years ago. Basically (in my own words) the home page includes:

Headline: What group is an ideal client for you? : What is Their Pain?

Ideal Client: Your Company works with - who is your ideal client

Major Problem: If you’re like most ____ _you’re facing _____

Best Solution: The solution to the problem.

Matrix: Measure of success from those who take your advice or guarantee

Creditability: Results clients have produced, time in business, 3-4 sentences

Call to action: Provide: link to bottom of your marketing funnel, link to more about your ideal client, link to hire you now.

Everything is as short as possible.
Add up to two testimonials to the page.
Page length - no more than 3-4 scrolls of your mouse

If you'd like more information on the process or my marketing assistant, LMK. :)