Question

Topic: Copywriting

Invitation For After- Work Social

Posted by flwrsbyj on 4/1/2010 at 1:36 AM ET 250 Points
invitation invites all event planners and designers over to my new showroom. We selected to do a Margarita Mondays (other cocktails also)We had general invites printed... Instead of sayin "next Monday" we want to say Monday next...i.e
See what’s shakin’
(or stirred) at JennAffairs
Margarita Monday
!
5:30 pm
Monday next
in our "haute" showroom
Suggestions on Monday Next

they will be mailed the Monday before the event(each time)
To continue reading this question and the solution, sign up ... it's free!
SUBSCRIBE
Or, SIGN IN

RESPONSES

  • Posted on 4/1/2010 at 3:23 AM Member
    "Not Sunday...Monday!!!"
    "Monday, NOT Sunday!"
    "closest Monday" or "Monday closest"
    "incoming Monday"

    hope these can help.
  • Posted by Chris Blackman on 4/1/2010 at 7:23 AM Member
    Why not remove doubt and opt instead for clarity, define the date in absolute terms e.g.

    6:30 PM Monday 12 April 2010

    Or 6:30 PM Every Monday Evening, if it's to be a regular affair

    Or 6: 30 PM , First Monday evening, every month...

    "Monday next" is a relative term, the reader is left wondering when you wrote it, and which Monday you meant.
  • Posted by mgoodman on 4/1/2010 at 2:11 PM Moderator
    Huh? I'm not sure what the question is?

    Today is Thursday. Do you need suggestions for wording by Monday next? Didn't you already have the invitations printed?

    What's the issue? Are you trying to be cute/clever, or do you want people to show up?
  • Posted by jpoyer on 4/3/2010 at 5:55 PM Accepted
    I actually like the idea and the vibe of the verbiage you are considering (Monday next), however, the date thing could be a real issue. They will be mailed prior to the monday you are having the event, and you really can't control what the postal service does with the invites. Sometimes they may get routed to the wrong distribution center, and the person may get the invite a week late... just as an example.

    Maybe you can somehow put the date in a place where it doesn't detract from the flow/vibe of the invite, but will provide that answer to potential attendees.

    Jennifer
    XPRT creative
BACK TO TOP

Post a Comment

Related Discussions

Community Info

Top 25 Experts
(Copywriting)