Question

Topic: Copywriting

Want To Re Write Home Page Text

Posted by Anonymous on 7/5/2010 at 12:10 PM ET 100 Points
We are freight forwarders and in shipping & logistics business.

We would like to rewrite following text which is currently showing at our website https://www.sealandlogistic.com/index.php

currently our home page have following text.


"Sealand Logistics Solutions is your one-stop logistics provider. We help companies make smarter decisions throughout the supply chain cycle so they can streamline costs and operate more efficiently. We create competitive advantage for you by engineering a customized, lean supply chain solution that fits your business and operations exactly.

we create innovative supply chain solutions that allow you to concentrate on what you do best. Sealand Logistics Solutions focuses on developing long-term partnerships with each of our customers and doing the right thing for them every time. Customers experience the difference and trust us.

Our customers in Electronics, Glass, Cement, Rice, Textile and Engineering Sectors have found 70% savings and strategic advantage from working with us.

Welcome to our world of excellence!"


How could we make it better in customers perspective. What would be our USP(UNIQUE SELLING PROPOSITION).


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RESPONSES

  • Posted by cookmarketing@gmail. on 7/5/2010 at 1:49 PM Accepted
    What ever you decide, much shorter! Your are in a very competitive world, plus your write up addresses two different concerns: commodity (rice, cement. glass) price sensitive and time sensitive (electronics, textiles).
    Therefore two differing sets of customer requirements, two USP's.
    Time sensitive is not quite as price oriented; USP tracking and guarantee deliver
    Commodity, quite lower price.
    Suggest two differing and shorter USP emphasizing what you offer better than competitors. It will be a tough parsing of words, but it can be done.
  • Posted by Gail@PUBLISIDE on 7/5/2010 at 2:29 PM Member
    Additionally, when you do hire someone to rewrite, focus on the customer, not you. Lots of "we" usage in the piece you posted. Focus on how the end-user benefits.
  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 7/5/2010 at 8:15 PM Member
    Your USP isn't something someone on the outside can give you. It's either something you pride yourselves in or something that others tag you with. If you don't know what your USP is, start asking your past customers why they hired you.
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