Question

Topic: Copywriting

What Do You Think Of This Subject Line?

Posted by danp on 3/1/2011 at 4:16 PM ET 100 Points
I'm working on creating an email campaign, but wanted to get some opinions on this subject line. Also, I'm considering using this subject in an A/B split test, to see if a more intriguing line, or a more serious line catches the eye. Anyways, here's the subject line:

On the Count of Three...1...2...

The body of the email will have our marketing message of 3x (Learn How to Gain 3x more)
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RESPONSES

  • Posted on 3/1/2011 at 4:24 PM Accepted
    Just reading the subject line without seeing the actual copy is a bit hard to tell. That being said, I personally like it and would be intrigued enough to open. The key is to test, as you've said. Depending on your subscribers, this may be a huge success or big time backfire.

    What is the goal of this campaign? How will you measure it's success? Opens? Clicks? Social Shares? Are you hoping that they will convert/buy/download something?

    For sure do an A|B test and let us know. Best of luck.
  • Posted by michael on 3/1/2011 at 5:09 PM Member
    Dan

    If you have regular updates going to the same people I think it will work. If not, I'd be curious to see your results.

    I'd bet that if your subject line was "Rock, Paper, Scissors" you'd get a better open rate. Just be sure you can tie it to the message.

    Michael
  • Posted by arthursc on 3/1/2011 at 8:37 PM Accepted
    Actually, Dan, I think your marketing message makes a better subject line, especially so if your not using a house list, or using a list that doesn't know you're company and/or product.

    "Learn How to Gain 3x more" might work, but to an unfamiliar audience does it tease well enough or compel enough? Is that the benefit or does it lead to a benefit?

    If you have enough names, maybe you could do an a/b/c test, using your subject line, your marketing message or a variation of it, and a 3rd one that takes a different tack.

    Intriguing test. What are you going to use in your From line? Again, does your list know you?
  • Posted by SteveByrneMarketing on 3/1/2011 at 9:50 PM Member
    I think "On the Count of Three...1...2..." sounds like spam and if my filter didn't redirect it, I would delete it.

    Of course, you haven't really provided enough info on the copy, campaign, qualified list, landing page link etc etc

    Steve
  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on 3/2/2011 at 9:05 AM Member
    Why not put the benefit in the subject line ("Boost Profits by 3x for 1/2 the cost!") instead of the teaser?
  • Posted by danp on 3/2/2011 at 9:18 AM Author
    DJ,
    The goal of the campaign is to garner some leads and have the recipient click-through to our landing page. This email will go out to a purchased list specifically to financial advisors. The landing page I'll have them link to is a free evaluation page, which we hope a handful will fill out this form.

    Arthur,
    Thanks for the insight. We will not be using a house list for this campaign. The benefit is gaining 3X more, so maybe using the marketing message as the subject line is more pertinent to our audience (which is prospects in this case).
  • Posted by arthursc on 3/3/2011 at 11:50 AM Member
    Dan (is that your name?), since you are using a rented list, you probably know that your metrics will be lower than the industry standard, very low. I just did a lead gen campaign for a client with a rented list from a controlled circ mag in which the client was featured on a cover story and for which she writes a blog. List was 3000, she got 5 real hot leads. And she was OK with that!

    But you didn't answer, does this list know your company? Probably not as well as you'd like in any case, in which case the From display line can be almost as important as the subject line. So it may not suffice just to use your company name there, but perhaps a word or two about the program.

    You may know this, but shorter subject lines generally work better than long ones, and not just because some email clients cut off after 30-odd characters. And because of that cutting and just cause it's so, the first few words of that short line are the most important--don't bury the power words at the end of the line (hey that's a traveling wilburys song). So I generally shoot for a max of 55 characters, and shorter if I can make my point doing so.

    Anyway, on further reflection, I agree with Steve Byrne that your original subject line sounds spammy, so if you test, I now suggest that you don't include that one.
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