Topic: Copywriting

Invitations To Recruit Connections On Linkedin

Posted by chiron34 on 350 Points
I am a capital raise consultant. I help growth companies to raise capital for business expansion purposes. I do this by reviewing the Project Sponsor’s business plan & corporate structure, following which I prepare a teaser for distribution to my database of investors & lenders.

I recruit a lot investors & lenders from LinkedIn. When I find a person who seems to fit my criteria, I send the following invitation to connect (LinkedIn restricts this message to 300 characters & spaces). The names are offered to me by LinkedIn under the title ‘People You May Know’:

Hi (first name),

LinkedIn gave me your name as a person in my sector, venture capital. However, we seem to be on opposite sides of the project funding equation. Would you like to connect with me & explore how we may be able help each other for mutual benefit?



This message is only resulting in a 25% to 30% acceptance rate.

I would like to substantially increase this acceptance rate, although I understand that some people I approach may not want to accept for certain reasons. But as LinkedIn is a networking platform, I would be surprised if 70% of my invitation targets would be in that category. My queries therefore are:

1. What do marketing gurus see as being wrong with the drafting of this invitation?

2. Would the marketing gurus like to suggest some alternative invitations that I could use.

Thanks in advance.

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  • Posted by Gary Bloomer on Accepted

    Your invitation is a little wooden.

    Try this:

    Dear (name),

    As a fellow venture capital professional, I'd appreciate the chance to connect
    with you here on LinkedIn. Thank you.



    That "however" in the middle of what you've got at the moment is what's killing your conversions.

    What it says to me is "I'd like to connect, but ..." But what?

    How many of these things are you sending each month?

    I'm asking this because deep down in LinkedIn's terms of service there are a few terms that can get your account suspended. The first no-no is sending connection requests to people you haven't met in in real life. LinkedIn doesn't like it when its members do this, which is odd because the whole point of networking is to connect with people you don't know so that you can get to know them.

    Next, during the life of your account, you're only allowed to send out 3,000 invitations.

    Next, is the IDK option. You may be close to this: if three people on the trot tell LinkedIn that they don't know you, LinkedIn suspends your account because they think you're spamming people.

    So, proceed with caution.

  • Posted by Jay Hamilton-Roth on Accepted
    What's your goal for leveraging LinkedIn, rather than a direct email to the person?
    Have you considered using targeted LinkedIn advertising?
  • Posted by chiron34 on Author
    @ Gary Bloomer. LI seems to have relaxed the invitation process with the recent change to the platform.But your warnings to proceed with caution are acknowledged.
    @ Jay Hamilton-Roth. My database of investors/lenders is the recipient of teasers promoting client projects requiring funds. I have not thought about using targeted advertising as you have suggested. I'm not even sure how to go about that in these circumstances. What did you have mind, in more specific terms?
  • Posted by mgoodman on Accepted
    Response rate of 25-30% might not be so bad. Of course you should always tweak and test, but let the test results guide you to any change(s). Some recipients may consider your messages to be spam and not respond for that reason.

    I concur with Jay's suggestion that you try paid advertising on LinkedIn. I also share Gary's concern with "however" -- especially at the start of a sentence. The "however" points to whatever came before and highlights/negates it to some degree.
  • Posted by elizabeth on Member
    I agree with Gary Bloomer. I might suggest adding a sentence to peak their curiosity about why you selected them to connect with. Research the person's profile and find a common ground.
  • Posted by chiron34 on Author
    @elizabeth; thank you Elizabeth. I do check the profile before sending an invite. That is how I select the targets. Unfortunately, LI only allows 300 characters for an invitation, including spaces, so there is not a lot of room for creativity. If you go one character over the 300, LI will not let the invite be transmitted.

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